What's the difference between polite conversation and an erection?

I can maintain polite conversation.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between herpes and friends?

I don't have any friends.

What's the difference between a ruble and a dollar?

One dollar

Erection Jokes More Erection Jokes

Why do asians got to the hospital after voting?

Everyone knows that you should see a doctor for an erection that last longer than 4 hours.

What do you call a narcissistic plant with an erection?

A self-raising flower. I'm so sorry.

Maintain Jokes More Maintain Jokes

What's the difference between hardware and software?

Hardware breaks if you maintain it.

Why do health magazines targeting hypochondriacs have so much trouble maintaining subscriber levels?

Because none of their readers believe them when they receive a warning that it's their final issue.