Maintain Jokes

Why do health magazines targeting hypochondriacs have so much trouble maintaining subscriber levels?

Because none of their readers believe them when they receive a warning that it's their final issue.

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What's the difference between polite conversation and an erection?

I can maintain polite conversation.

What's the difference between hardware and software?

Hardware breaks if you maintain it.

What's your strongest trait?

My fingers. "No, like... Are you pinching me " GIVE ME fighting to maintain pinch THE JOB

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Result Jokes More Result Jokes

What's the definition of irony?

An incongruity between expectation and result.

What will the results of the next election be?

No one knows! The results were stolen from the Politburo just last night!

Warn Jokes More Warn Jokes

Why are Taylor Swift's songs always a hit?

WARNING POKEMON JOKE) Because swift never misses.

Who served as the 45th Vice President of the United States?

Warning: Gore

Erection Jokes More Erection Jokes

What do you get when you throw a baby against a wall?

An erection

What should you do if you get an erection on the subway?

Get off at the next stop!

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

What do you cal a man with no arms and no legs fighting with his cat?

Claude

What do you call a reptile who anyways starts fights?

An Insti-Gator

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin?

There was some money in the kitty!

Where can I find that "4 Out Of 5 People Get Money In Their Birthday Cards" Birthday Card?

I've been checking online with no luck, unless I'm checking the wrong place

Reader Jokes More Reader Jokes

How to keep a reader in suspense?

Removed

How does a one liner hurt its readers?

With its punchline

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What does a radical, Democrat and Republican have in common?

They both want to make money off of other people's work!

What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted people

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

Why didn't the Pharaoh believe he was drowning?

Because he was in deNile

Why shouldn't you tell a story to a solipsist?

Because they won't believe it.