Maintain Jokes

Why do health magazines targeting hypochondriacs have so much trouble maintaining subscriber levels?

Because none of their readers believe them when they receive a warning that it's their final issue.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What's the difference between hardware and software?

Hardware breaks if you maintain it.

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Wheel Jokes More Wheel Jokes

What do you call a bunch of pro wrestlers hitting each other with blocks of cheddar and wheels of gouda?

Battle Royale with cheese.

What did the car say when it's front wheels were stolen?

I don't want to go anywhere. I'm two tired.

Receive Jokes More Receive Jokes

How do gangsters receive communications?

Gmail

Why did the agnostic receive a lighter sentence?

He had no prior convictions.

Erection Jokes More Erection Jokes

How do the Chinese vote?

With their erections.

What does a Japanese man do when there's an erection?

He votes!

Target Jokes More Target Jokes

Why did Walmart go out of business in Iraq?

Because there are too many targets.

Why does Iraq have no Walmarts?

Because there's a Target on every corner.

Hypochondriac Jokes More Hypochondriac Jokes

Why is it so easy to trust a hypochondriac?

Because none of their plans are ill-conceived.

Why do health magazines targeting hypochondriacs have so much trouble maintaining subscriber levels?

Because none of their readers believe them when they receive a warning that it's their final issue.

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

How did the hail stone describe it's life?

It really has a lot of ups and downs

What has two holes and smells a lot?

Your nose

Software Jokes More Software Jokes

What's the difference between hardware and software?

Hardware breaks if you maintain it.

How do you make a computer your best friend?

You buy it a nice bunch of software and get it loaded!

Result Jokes More Result Jokes

What's the similarity between your zero-exercise lifestyle and a professional weight-lifter competing in the Olympics?

They both involve muscles and they both result in a-trophy.

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.