Why did the agnostic receive a lighter sentence?

He had no prior convictions.

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Why did Dr.Pepper blush?

He received a Sunkist from his Crush

What does every Elmo receive before they leave the factory?

Two test tickles!

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What do you get when you mix an Insomniac a Dyslexic and an Agnostic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog

What do you call an agnostic?

An athe-ish.

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Why did the agnostic receive a lighter sentence?

He had no prior convictions.

Why did the vegetable thief get a lighter sentence?

Because he admitted the crime was *parsley* his fault.