Why did the vegetable thief get a lighter sentence?

Because he admitted the crime was *parsley* his fault.

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What does Spiderman do when he's not fighting crime?

Web Development.

What crime did the tree commit to be put in tree jail?

Treeson

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Why did eighteen blondes go to the movies together?

They heard that under seventeen weren't admitted!

Why can Egyptian crocodiles never admit when they are wrong?

They're always in de Nile.

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What did the tectonic plate say when it had a collision?

It's not my fault.

What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?

I've been really stressed out lately, I know it's not your fault, but please stop cracking jokes about me

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Why did the agnostic receive a lighter sentence?

He had no prior convictions.

Why did the vegetable thief get a lighter sentence?

Because he admitted the crime was *parsley* his fault.