Admit Jokes

What's the worst part about admitting to your friends and family you play PokemanGo?

Having to admit you have autism:,P

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What do you call it when you admit to being a prisoner?

A con-fession.

What does a pediatrist do when you ask them which body part they find most interesting?

They admit de feet.

Why didn't the movie ticket get convicted of both of its crimes?

It would only admit one.

Why did the vegetable thief get a lighter sentence?

Because he admitted the crime was *parsley* his fault.

Why can Egyptian crocodiles never admit when they are wrong?

They're always in de Nile.

Why did eighteen blondes go to the movies together?

They heard that under seventeen weren't admitted!

What do you call it when someone admits to caring about how they dress?

A confashion.

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Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Where do men with erectile dysfunction go to find a job?

Ubisoft

What if you go missing?

How do you expect us to find you if you look like Beyonce on Facebook.

De Nile Jokes More De Nile Jokes

Why is it really hard to convince Egyptians?

Because they all live in de-Nile...

Why did the man drowning in the river think he wasn't going to die?

He was in de-Nile.

Body Jokes More Body Jokes

Why does Skeleton Soup taste so poor?

It lacks body

When will you be bioavailable?

Because you are my drug and I want you in my body...

Movie Jokes More Movie Jokes

How can one get rid of the echo while playing a movie?

Get some furniture

What do you call a movie about artificial orange juice?

Pulp Fiction

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What is the difference between confident and confidential?

Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, THAT is confidential."

What does an excited karate pupil say to his friend when greeting him?

HIYAH!

Egyptian Jokes More Egyptian Jokes

Why was the Egyptian kid confused?

Because his daddy was a mummy

Why can Egyptian crocodiles never admit when they are wrong?

They're always in de Nile.

Light Sentence Jokes More Light Sentence Jokes

Why did the vegetable thief get a lighter sentence?

Because he admitted the crime was *parsley* his fault.

Why did the agnostic receive a lighter sentence?

He had no prior convictions.

Care Jokes More Care Jokes

Why did the existential nihilist cross the road?

Who cares.

What do you think is the biggest problem in Germany?

Uncertainty or indifference ' He answered: I don't know and I don't care!'