What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did the mole hill say to the mountain?

I see my ex came by.

Why do pro gamers get up at 1:37pm?

Because it's 13:37! I came up with this last night and have been waiting to post it until 1:37pm my time.

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Why are asymptomatic cardiology patients so trustworthy?

Because they can't tell afib

What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?

This one will sleigh you!

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Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts?

He couldn't stand all the racket!

Why did peasants hate knights' outfits?

Because everyone hates chain mail.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why did the cookie visit the doctor?

He was feeling a little crummy.

What do they call the doctor who released private health information after he got mad at his being given away?

A Hipaacrite

Result Jokes More Result Jokes

What's the similarity between your zero-exercise lifestyle and a professional weight-lifter competing in the Olympics?

They both involve muscles and they both result in a-trophy.

What two words result in the most marriages?

Screw it. EDIT: has a better answer

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Why was the racehorse named Bad News?

Because bad news travels fast!

Why can't you give bad news to someone on the Moon?

It lacks gravity.

Panda Bear Jokes More Panda Bear Jokes

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

What goes Black-White, Black-White, Black-White?

A panda bear rolling down a hill.