What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

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What stopped winter from coming?

Winterfell and it can't get up.

What's the best joke you know that's kid-safe?

I know plenty of raunchy jokes, but was asked this recently and came up blank

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How many times does a blonde laugh at a joke?

Three times - Once when you tell it, once when you explain it, and once when she gets it.

How can you tell if a dictionary has been working out?

You can see the definition.

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Why do jihadists drink instant coffee?

Because they hate the french press...

Why was Jesus I such good shape?

Crossfit. Why did the Romans hate Jesus so much? He wouldn't shut up about crossfit.

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What did the doctor say to the airplane that has canser?

It's terminal.

Whats the difference between a Doctors Without Borders hospital and ISIS?

How would I know, Im just a US Air Force Operator.

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What is the result?

A tie.

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

Bad News Jokes More Bad News Jokes

Which do you want to hear first?

Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first? Michael: The good news. Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.

Why was the racehorse named Bad News?

Because bad news travels fast!

Panda Bear Jokes More Panda Bear Jokes

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

What goes Black-White, Black-White, Black-White?

A panda bear rolling down a hill.