Bad News Jokes

What's the worst news for a NASCAR driver before a race?

The track is alright.

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Why can't you give bad news to someone on the Moon?

It lacks gravity.

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

How's my cat, Doc?

Vet: I have good news and bad news..

Why was the racehorse named Bad News?

Because bad news travels fast!

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Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

How many bears does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

The bear minimum

What do you call a bear who is athletically flexible?

Yogi

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What's Anakin Skywalker's favorite animal?

Well, it was cats, originally, but then he was turned to the dog side.

What did Edgar Allen Poe name his cat?

Poepurry

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks...

'Can I join you?'

When you ask me a question, would you prefer the blank stare or the eye roll as a response?

I like to be prepared.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did Muhammad hire Moses to help with his start-up?

He wanted to double his prophets.

Why did the horse stir his cereal with his hoof?

Because he wanted to feel his oats!

Adopt Jokes More Adopt Jokes

How many French words has the Turkish language recently adopted?

Beaucoup.

What do you call an adopted ghost?

Transparent

24 Hour Jokes More 24 Hour Jokes

What do you call someone who spends 24 hours a day on the Internet?

Anything you like they're not listening to you anyway.

What kind of company is a 24 hours hamburger joint?

Fry-by-night!

Travel Jokes More Travel Jokes

Why do hot girls always travel in threes?

Because they can't even.

What do you call a traveling Pope?

A Roamin' Catholic.

Racehorse Jokes More Racehorse Jokes

What's similar between a racehorse and a leaky faucet?

They're both off and running.

Why is a racehorse like a letter?

They both begin a trip at the post!