Bad News Jokes

What's the worst news for a NASCAR driver before a race?

The track is alright.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Why can't you give bad news to someone on the Moon?

It lacks gravity.

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

Why was the racehorse named Bad News?

Because bad news travels fast!

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Fox News Jokes More Fox News Jokes

What about Fox News?

They haven't shown a fox in months. (Craig Ferguson)

What do you call a polar bear who works for Fox News?

A bad news bear

Yesterday Jokes More Yesterday Jokes

What kind of turns do letters take?

U-turns! *From my 9 year old son yesterday. Fixed typo.

What is the chemical formula for water?

Student: "HIJKLMNO." Teacher: "What are you talking about " Student: "Yesterday you said it's H to O!"

Michael Jokes More Michael Jokes

How do you spell ichael?

The teacher was rather bewildered. "Don't you mean Michael " she asked. "No ma'am. I've written the 'M' already."

Result Jokes More Result Jokes

What's the definition of irony?

An incongruity between expectation and result.

What's the similarity between your zero-exercise lifestyle and a professional weight-lifter competing in the Olympics?

They both involve muscles and they both result in a-trophy.

Bad News Bear Jokes More Bad News Bear Jokes

What do you call a polar bear who works for Fox News?

A bad news bear

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

What do you call a Frenchman that's been attacked by a bear?

Claude

What kind of cheese do you use to entice a bear?

Camembert!

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What do cats read in the morning?

Mewspapers!

What did the cat... Say to the person?

Nothing, because cats don't speak.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?

The food is great, but there’s just no atmosphere.

Why did the lollipop cross the road?

Cause it was stuck to the chicken. I heard that on the radio today. I LOLed.