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Travel Jokes

Why are Boy Scouts safest when travelling with a senior?

They'll always have dry wood on hand to start a fire

Your Age Is Only Math
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Your Age Is Only Math

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What's the difference between a guy with carry on luggage and a photon?

The guy overpacked, and the photon is traveling light.

What do you call a Microbiologist who travels the world?

A Man of many Cultures

What do you call a large vehicle that travels the world serving breakfast?

Universal cereal bus

How does a crazy person travel through the woods?

They take the psychopath.

What famous hotel chain do muslims prefer when travelling on religious holidays?

Ramadamadan.

Why doesn't the sun pack it's bags?

Because it's traveling light!

How do crabs travel cheaply?

Pubic transportation

What happens when something travels faster than the speed of light?

Does it matter?

Why did the fish cross the ocean?

Watching the National Geographic channel always makes me wonder how animals like fish manage to travel thousands of miles,and how they know where to go. Then I realised they can measure distances so well because they have their own scales.

How long does it take light to travel from the sun to the earth?

Not nearly as long as it would take to travel around your mom.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes
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I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Why do nuns always travel in pairs?

Because one nun follows the other nun to make sure that nun doesn't get none.

Why did KGB officers always travel in threes?

One who could read, one who could write, and the third to watch over those two dangerous intellectuals.

What kind of trails does a crazy person travel?

Psychopaths. (I hate myself)

Why do photons travels slower through water?

They having a float-on. it very good

Where do black person go to travel cross-country?

The Newport (My first joke, sorry if bad 8)

What travels down an alley and has holes in it?

A bowling ball. Or Bruce Wayne's parents.

Why couldn't the physicist understand how boats work?

He thought nothing could possibly travel faster than sea.

What happens to a bacteria when he travels from his home colony to another?

He experiences culture shock.

Why do sorority girls travel in odd numbered packs?

Because they can't even.

What has four legs and is always ready to travel?

A zebra with a private jet.

Everyday Deserves a Joke
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Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What can walk over the water, but can travel under the water without getting wet?

Jesus in a submarine.

Why do soviet policemen travel in groups of three?

One to read, one to write, and one to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.

Why do hot girls always travel in threes?

Because they can't even.

Why don't the French enjoy travelling to Northern Ireland?

Because they don't like the smell of Derry air.

Why does LeVar Burton not like to travel by airplane?

He usually flies twice as high.

What is a time travelling vacuum cleaner called?

Dr Whoover

How did you travel such a distance so fast?

I went through a wormhole." Worms in the audience: Omg this is so unrealistic.

How do snowmen travel around?

By iceicle!

How to fleas travel?

Itch hiking!

Why did the Siamese Twins travel to England?

So the other one could drive

Love
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Love

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Why did the spotted pigs run away?

They thought the traveling salesman told the farmer to put his name on the dotted swine.

Why won't the witch let the traveling pig actors into her gingerbread cottage?

She's afraid they'll bring down the house.

What did the Mexico team travel back home with?

Luggage full of goals.

What do you call a duck traveling south that enters a time warp and meets itself traveling north?

A pair of ducks.

What has holes in it, and travels down an alley?

Batman: my parents Riddler: no its a bowling ball! I-im so sorry!

What do you call a traveling Pope?

A Roamin' Catholic.

How can you tell elephants love to travel?

They are always packing their trunk!

How do stoners travel?

On the canna-bus.

What travels down an alley and is full of holes?

Batman's Parents.

What steps should you take if you see a dangerous animal on your travels?

Very large ones.

Why do people traveling east out of Sweden get a metal?

Because they're crossing the Finnish line.

What travels around the world but stays in one corner?

A stamp.

Why did the photon stop drinking after traveling 670 million miles?

Because Happy Hour ended.

Why are you packing condoms for a sailing trip with 10 guys?

I'm saying "Just in case." Now I'm traveling with a bigger case.

Why do liberals travel in threes?

One to read one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.

Why do hurricanes travel so fast?

Because if they travelled slowly we'd have to call them slow-i-canes.

How is it that photons travel so fast?

They are light.

Why wasn't toto as excited as dorothy when they traveled the yellow brick road?

He missed the rains down in africa

Why does light travel faster than sound?

Because some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Why does Dracula always travel with his coffin?

Because his life is at stake.

What people travel the most?

Romans.

Why didn't the Photon have any luggage on the plane?

He was Travelling Light

Why can't Shia Joe travel in eastern Pennsylvania?

Because it's always Sunni in Philadelphia.

How fast can you travel in any direction in an airport?

Terminal velocity.

Why did you lead me on a five-state chase?

Driver: I love to travel.

Why did the Muslim take his Note 7 onto an airplane?

Do I really have to answer that Who doesn't bring their phone with them when they travel

What do pirates have in common with photons?

They both travel at c

Why is it easy for light bulbs to travel?

Because they pack light.

Why was NASA so interested on travelling to Mars?

Because it had their Curiosity.

Why was the racehorse named Bad News?

Because bad news travels fast!

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Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

Why we going into the woods?

Let me out

What has four legs and is made out of wood?

A horse.

Century Jokes More Century Jokes

What did the time traveler say at the birthday party?

I'd tell you happy birthday, but to me, you've been dead for centuries

Why is England the wettest country?

Monarchies have reigned there for centuries.

Hurricane Jokes More Hurricane Jokes

What did the hurricane say to the other hurricane?

I have my eye on you.

What are hurricanes with a central dense overcast over the eye called?

Hurricanes with cataracts

Time Machine Jokes More Time Machine Jokes

Why do time machines make you happy?

They're an anti de-present.

What do we want now!?

When do we want 'em? Time machines!

Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

Why is a dog with a lame leg like adding 6 and 7s?

He puts down the three and carries the one.

What would happen if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with a Saint Bernard?

It would drink the brandy it would carry and act like a big Gorilla!

Duck Jokes More Duck Jokes

Why did the duck get arrested?

Because he was smoking quack!

Why did the duck leave his flock?

Because he wanted to be a-loone.

Photon Jokes More Photon Jokes

What's the difference between a guy with carry on luggage and a photon?

The guy overpacked, and the photon is traveling light.

What do pirates have in common with photons?

They both travel at c

Birthday Party Jokes More Birthday Party Jokes

Why don't Pirates get invited to Birthday parties?

Because they always steal doubloons

Why was Thor disappointed by his birthday party?

Because it was more Loki than he wanted.