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Time Machine Jokes

Why do time machines make you happy?

They're an anti de-present.

Birthday State of Mind

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Birthday State of Mind

What do we want now!?

When do we want 'em? Time machines!

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Tardi Jokes More Tardi Jokes

Who fans?

Tardis..... I will see myself out..

Hard Time Jokes More Hard Time Jokes

Why do Pandas have such a hard time mating in captivity?

Because all of their broads are in Atlanta

Who is a man's best friend?

The sock, he's always there in hard times.

Travel Jokes More Travel Jokes

How did you travel such a distance so fast?

I went through a wormhole." Worms in the audience: Omg this is so unrealistic.

Why do photons travels slower through water?

They having a float-on. it very good

Twist Jokes More Twist Jokes

How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two: one to get it 95% done, and the second to give it the twist at the end.

What is a tornado?

Mother nature doing the twist!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

Whats the difference between a Ginger and a Shoe?

The shoe has a sole

What's the difference between U and I?

J

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What would she do for $20?

Wasn't there a joke before posted about asking what a girl would do for $20 or something A dirty joke I'm trying to find it but I can't....

Why doctor?

Doctor: "Because I'm trying to talk to you, and it's very distracting."

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the bully go to beauty school?

She wanted to tease hair

Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two?

Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!

Sister Jokes More Sister Jokes

What does the baker turned counterfeiter say?

I make my own dough". My sister Katie came up with this one.

How many retweets to let me take your sister to prom?

A student walks up to his friend a week before prom and asks, "Hey, how many Twitter retweets do i have to get to take your sister to prom?" His friend says, "Dude, she was abducted! She's been missing 3 weeks, you know this!" The student says, "So you're saying if i find her, i can take her?"