They're an anti de-present.
When do we want 'em? Time machines!
Me: Everything IT guy: Me: I shook the mouse a few times and did some swearing
She tried to stick her finger in his cavity.
I'd totally watch hermit crab week if they had one.
The posters
Because her hips won't lie.
The sock, he's always there in hard times.
You twist its knob. edit: grammar
The lid said, "Twist to open."
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To feed her nightmare.
Kid: Mom's last name must be "Darling" because that's what Daddy calls her every time.... Teacher: That's so sweet. What's her first name then? Kid: I think it's "Sorry"....
Mom: Anytime between 1-4. Apparently my Mom works for the cable company now.
After I dump my load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around.
God: I sent you one, you dumped him for putting ketchup on his steak. Me: Ah. That's right. Gross.
They pay their debts on time.
He responds, "One note at a time."
