25+ Funny Them Jokes - Curious Supply

What do you tell a person with two swollen eyes?

Nothing, you already told 'em twice.

Why don't Pokemon cards ever have any typos?

Because the editors know that they gotta catch 'em all!

How do you get a stranger to hop onto a bandwagon?

You poke 'em on.

What does a slave owner do with his slaves when he's finished with them?

Races 'em.

What do we want now!?

When do we want 'em? Time machines!

What is the slogan of the Mormon Church?

We don't care how you bring 'em, just Brigham Young.

How many lawyers does it take to shingle a roof?

Depends on how thick you slice 'em.

How do you get 50 Pikachus on a bus?

Poke 'em on.

Why are the mountains in Switzerland called "the Alps"?

Because when people fall off of 'em, they yell AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLPPPP!!!!!!!!

How do you get Pikachu on the bus?

Poke 'em on!

What does santa do with a lazy reindeer?

Sleighs 'em

What do 12 year old Mexican girls and born-again christians have in common?

They both have a little Jesus in 'em...

Where do people already feel awkward & uncomfortable?

Church " "K let's make 'em like that" -- funeral home designers

What does a man and a linoleum floor have in common?

If you lay 'em right, you can walk on them for 20 years.

What did the computer do with his overgrown gardens...?

Mowed 'em.

How many debutants can you fit in ballroom at the Waldorf Astoria?

OC Like, a cotillion of 'em.

Why do brunettes know so many blonde jokes?

Gives 'em something to do on Saturday night!

What do men and hardwood flooring have in common?

Lay 'em right the first time and you can walk all over them the rest of your life!

What's a martini's favorite garnish?

Olive 'em!

How many cuckolds does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. Somebody else does the screwing for 'em.

Them Jokes