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What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to?

Dishcipline This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do you call a bird who wants to have a different personality?

An alter eagle!

When's the best time to take your doberman pinscher for a walk?

Anytime he wants to go.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What do you call a hydrocarbon that tells fart jokes?

Crude Oil.

How can you tell when a white guy is about to tell a joke?

He glances over his shoulder.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Where did the joke wait to get a drink?

The punch line...

What did the terrorist say to the racist and the socialist?

We are the 2016 presidential candidate frontrunners. This is a joke take it that way

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why do we need to be learned English?

Hmm.. Couldn't have worded that better myself, Luke

What did Frankenstein's monster say when he was struck by lightning?

Thanks I needed that.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What did they say about the guy who woke up and jerked off on his alarm clock every day?

He always came on time.

Why did the cop wake up his son?

To stop a kid napping.

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

What's a hard drive's favorite band?

Data Remember

How can you tell a dog from an elephant?

The elephant remembers.

Dish Jokes More Dish Jokes

What was the rock band doing at the kitchen sink?

Moshing the dishes

What do you get when you mix a Mexican and an octopus?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

Dream Jokes More Dream Jokes

Why did the leper chase the leopard?

Because she wanted the D. (I dreamed this joke last night. Not bad for a dream joke.)

Why does your sign say "Fine Dining"?

Waiter: We can dream can't we