What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to?

Dishcipline This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the man put his car in the oven?

Because he wanted a hot rod.

Why are you wearing a tuxedo?

The man responds "If I'm going to be im-po-tant, I want to look im-po-tant!"

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve?

I haven't seen you for a year!

How can you tell if someone is a chemistry major?

They have a mole on their body.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why is it called Justice League of America?

Do they follow territorial boundaries? If the Kaos Kommandos start a brawl in El Paso and it rolls over into Juarez, do they say "screw it, let Justice League of Mexico handle it"? (Sorry if this isn't technically a joke; it was my shower thought this morning and I thought it was funny.)

What do you call a camel with 3 humps?

Humphrey. (I was told this joke by an actual dad, it was his response to one of my jokes)

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many mexicans do you need to screw a lightbulb?

Juan

What pillar doesn't need holding up?

A caterpillar!

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What did the terrorist say when he woke up?

It was Allah dream.

What did the Seven Dwarfs say when the prince woke up Snow White?

Welp.... I guess it's back to jerking off!

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

Why Would Clint Eastwood be Bad at Restructuring a Business?

He can't remember if he fired 5 or 6.

Whats th first joke you remember hearing or that you told as a kid?

Mine is: What is the white stuff in bird poop? (That is also bird poop.) edit: til you can't edit the topic to fix spelling errors...

Dish Jokes More Dish Jokes

What do you get when you mix a Mexican and an octopus?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

What's the best part about buying dishes that are made in Mexico?

They wash themselves.

Dream Jokes More Dream Jokes

Why does your sign say "Fine Dining"?

Waiter: We can dream can't we

What kind of dreams do dustmites have?

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