Dish Jokes

Where did L Ron Hubbard store his dishes?

In the L Ron cupboard.

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What did the Middle Eastern dishwasher say when his boss asked him what he did all day at work?

Iraq the dishes in the dish rack and Iran the dishwasher

Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who?

Dishes Sean Connery.

What do you call a man doing dishes?

Single.

What do you get when you mix an octopus and a Mexican?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

What's the first thing a woman does after leaving spousal abuse therapy?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her!

What's a dish best served cold?

Air condish.

What's the best part about buying dishes that are made in Mexico?

They wash themselves.

What do you suppose Ray Rice's fiance' did when he got her home from knocking her out?

The dishes if she knows what's good for her!

How can you tell if your wife left you?

You get laid the same amount of times but the dishes start to pile up. Hey now!

What do you call a "to-go" dish ordered from German-Italian restaurant?

Alfredosehen

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What is the first thing a woman should do when she gets out of the Battered Women's Shelter?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her.

What was the rock band doing at the kitchen sink?

Moshing the dishes

How many honest intelligent caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?

Both of them.

Why is revenge a dish best served cold?

Because it's just-ice

Why do petri dishes make good conversationalists?

They're cultured.

What kind of dish does LeBron like?

Anything with curry in it.

Where did the drug addict keep his food and dishes?

The potry

What's a terrible plate pun?

Dish one.

Whats the first thing a woman does when she gets to the battered shelter?

The dishes if she knows whats good for her.

Why is revenge a dish best served with honey?

Because honey is what you find at the end of bee trails (betrayals)

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What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to?

Dishcipline This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.

What side dish do frogs like to enjoy with their hamburgers?

French Flies!

How Does Sean Connery Wash His Dishes?

Like a Bosch!

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Develop Jokes More Develop Jokes

What happens when so-and-so step in the neutrino's urine?

He develops LEPTONspirosis.

What's the difference between a jar of mayonnaise and France?

If you leave the jar alone for 200 years it'll develop a culture.

Wash Jokes More Wash Jokes

What do you get if cross a mouse woth a packet of washing up powder?

Bubble and squeak!

What do you get when water washes away dirt?

A road

Puerto Rican Jokes More Puerto Rican Jokes

How do you know if someone is Puerto Rican?

They tell you.

What did the Puerto Rican dish say when he lost his Android?

Where'd mofongo?

Petri Dish Jokes More Petri Dish Jokes

What is a bacteria's OTHER favorite dish?

The PETRI dish!

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

Why did the tortoise get arrested?

Because he got there before the hare.

Why did they arrest Jared Fogle at 3:15?

That's when the big hand touches the little hand.

Foil Jokes More Foil Jokes

How long does it take a tweaker to go shopping?

An hour 5 minutes for the Ramen noodles and foil. 55 minutes to fix the squeaky shopping cart wheel.

What did the Illuminati say when they tried to read someone's mind, but failed to do so?

Curses, foiled again!

Spare Rib Jokes More Spare Rib Jokes

What did the skeleton order at the restaurant?

Spare ribs.

What do skeletons order at restaurants?

Spare ribs.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What kind of cheese is best to watch Lost with?

Smoked Muenster.

What would Paul McCartney say after losing both his legs?

Suddenly....I'm not half the man I used to be.....