Dish Jokes

Where did L Ron Hubbard store his dishes?

In the L Ron cupboard.

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What did the Middle Eastern dishwasher say when his boss asked him what he did all day at work?

Iraq the dishes in the dish rack and Iran the dishwasher

Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who?

Dishes Sean Connery.

What do you call a man doing dishes?

Single.

What do you get when you mix an octopus and a Mexican?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

What's the first thing a woman does after leaving spousal abuse therapy?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her!

What's a dish best served cold?

Air condish.

What do you get when you mix a Mexican and an octopus?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

What's the best part about buying dishes that are made in Mexico?

They wash themselves.

How does the redneck help his wife with the dishes?

He gets her Dawn.

What do you suppose Ray Rice's fiance' did when he got her home from knocking her out?

The dishes if she knows what's good for her!

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How can you tell if your wife left you?

You get laid the same amount of times but the dishes start to pile up. Hey now!

What do you call a "to-go" dish ordered from German-Italian restaurant?

Alfredosehen

What is the first thing a woman should do when she gets out of the Battered Women's Shelter?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her.

What was the rock band doing at the kitchen sink?

Moshing the dishes

How many honest intelligent caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?

Both of them.

Why is revenge a dish best served cold?

Because it's just-ice

Why do petri dishes make good conversationalists?

They're cultured.

What kind of dish does LeBron like?

Anything with curry in it.

Where did the drug addict keep his food and dishes?

The potry

What's a terrible plate pun?

Dish one.

Why did Helen Keller stop cleaning her dishes?

She was running out of things to read.

Whats the first thing a woman does when she gets to the battered shelter?

The dishes if she knows whats good for her.

Why is revenge a dish best served with honey?

Because honey is what you find at the end of bee trails (betrayals)

What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to?

Dishcipline This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.

What side dish do frogs like to enjoy with their hamburgers?

French Flies!

Why did God invent women?

You think he's gonna wash the dishes

How Does Sean Connery Wash His Dishes?

Like a Bosch!

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the difference between a cake and a school bus?

Jill: I don't know. Janet: I'm glad I didn't send you to pick up my birthday cake!

How do you know if a guy was in the Navy SEALs?

Don't worry, he'll tell you.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What time of day is the saddest?

The mourning

What do necrophiliacs get when they wake up on the day of a funeral?

Mourning Wood

Iraq Jokes More Iraq Jokes

What's Hillary's thoughts about her campaign?

Iran, Iraq, I lost

What is Iraq's national bird?

Duck.

Dishwasher Jokes More Dishwasher Jokes

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow thrower?

Give her a shovel.

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?

Give her a shovel!

Iran Jokes More Iran Jokes

How did I escape Iraq?

Iran

What's Hillary's thoughts about her campaign?

Iran, Iraq, I lost

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

When you are driving though the field in Texas, you see a lot of cattle. They are very special. Wanna know why?

They are out standing in the field

Why are cigarette taxes such a safe bet right now?

One way or the other, there's going to be a lot of smoking over the next four years.

Petri Dish Jokes More Petri Dish Jokes

What is a bacteria's OTHER favorite dish?

The PETRI dish!

What's the difference between a petri dish and white people?

A petri dish develops a culture.

Puerto Rican Jokes More Puerto Rican Jokes

How do you know if someone is Puerto Rican?

They tell you.

What did the Puerto Rican dish say when he lost his Android?

Where'd mofongo?