What do you call a smart knife?

Cleaver! EDIT: Also Sharp, knew about this one but I like Cleaver better.

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What do you like to do in your free time?

Guy: I spy on people. Girl: Really I like to take long walks in the park and go to the movies with my friends. Guy: I know.

How do you know if someone grew up in New York City?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

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How is the world like a bag of jellybeans?

Nobody likes the black ones.

Why is it called the sistine chapel?

Because the cardinals like to be in something, that isn't eighteen yet.

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What do programmers and taxi drivers have in common?

They both need a *break* every once in a *while*. edit: this is a three-way pun btw - it works better out loud

Why does Caitlyn Jenner feel like her kids see though her?

I guess she is trans parent now Edit: *through

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What did one Pencil say to the other?

Your looking Sharp!

What did the Pencile say to the other pencil?

What did the pencile say to the other pencil the answer is........... Your Looking Sharp