What's longer than most relationships these days?

This status.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What runs all day but never gets tired?

Water.

What does Putin say during his New Year's speech?

Don't know but its so scary that they drink for ten days straight right after!

Relationship Jokes More Relationship Jokes

Why do mathematicians have a hard time moving on in relationships?

Because they're always trying to find the x. They don't know y, either.

Why don't some couples go to the gym?

Because some relationships don't work out.

Status Jokes More Status Jokes

What's longer than most relationships these days?

This status.

What did the number do when it divided from its companion?

Changed its status from 'In A Relationship' to 'Single'.