What's the first thing a woman does after leaving spousal abuse therapy?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her!

This joke may have profanity.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?

I dont know, hes still trying to kick it open.

How many people does it take to screw in a light?

Two, but I don't know how they'll fit inside the bulb

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave the Russian airport?

Because he got Snowden!

What does Mrs Dracula say to Mr Dracula when he leaves for work in the evening?

Have a nice bite!

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

How do you pay for things in the Czech Republic?

Cash or Czech Edit: a word

What do my iPhone and my girlfriend have in common?

They both go off again two minutes later to remind me of the same thing.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you call a woman who pleasures herself with Vegetables?

Mrs Hawking

What do you tell a woman with black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

Dish Jokes More Dish Jokes

What side dish do frogs like to enjoy with their hamburgers?

French Flies!

Why is revenge a dish best served cold?

Because it's just-ice