What do you call someone who takes things literally?

A kleptomaniac!

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why don't Geordies use scales?

Because they can weigh things by eye man.

What's the last thing to go through a fly's mind when it hits a windshield?

It's rear end!

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

Why did the kleptomaniac dislike the insultingly boisterous man with a cleft palate?

He couldn't take any more lip!

Why can't you tell pun jokes to kleptomaniacs?

Because they always take things literally