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What do you call someone who takes things literally?

A kleptomaniac!

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's the thing in common between your girlfriend starting the pill and the muisic group Europe?

It's the final condom... Ta da da da...

Why did NBC add the Michael J. Fox Show to its line-up?

To shake things up on network tv.

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

What did a kleptomaniac say on 90% sale?

It was an absolute steal!

Why did the kleptomaniac dislike the insultingly boisterous man with a cleft palate?

He couldn't take any more lip!