How are cats like empty wine bottles?

I'm probably gonna die surrounded by both.

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Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?

An octopuss!

What did the cat do when he didn't want to watch the movie?

He paws-ed it!

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Where does every craps player want to go when they die?

Paradise.

Why do procrastinators live the longest?

Because they die at the last second.

Surround Jokes More Surround Jokes

Why do writers always feel cold?

Because they are surrounded by drafts!

What do burgers think when they are surrounded by gherkins?

They think they are in a pickle.