Why do procrastinators live the longest?

Because they die at the last second.

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Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did Mufasa die?

Because he didn't Mufasa-nuff.

What happened to the man who died from drinking Shellac?

He had a *lovely finish*.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What kind of house does cheese like to live in?

A cottage

What kind of environment do hobbits live in?

A hobbitat

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

When she got in front of the judge he asked, "first offender?

She replied, "No. First a Gibson, second a Fender."

How many Librans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Er two. Or maybe one. No --- on second thoughts make that two. Is that okay with you

Procrastinator Jokes More Procrastinator Jokes

Why do procrastinators live the longest?

Because they die at the last second.

How many procrastinators does it take to change a lightbulb?

Oh well, I'll figure it out later.