Why do procrastinators live the longest?

Because they die at the last second.

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Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why do men die before their wives?

Because we want to!

What did they call Jesus after He died on the cross?

Xavier

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What do you call Squidward when he gives DNA results for a living?

You call 'im Maury.

What did the penguin say to the polar bear?

Nothing, penguins live in the South Pole and polar bears live in the North Pole.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What do you need to teach a blonde who never had an accident in 20 years?

Second gear.

What was more important than the invention of the first telephone?

The second telephone.

Procrastinator Jokes More Procrastinator Jokes

Why do procrastinators live the longest?

Because they die at the last second.

How many procrastinators does it take to change a lightbulb?

Oh well, I'll figure it out later.