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Why do procrastinators live the longest?

Because they die at the last second.

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Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What do lawyers do after they die?

They lie still.

Why did the Islamic woman die when she fell into the ocean?

She thought to yell for help, but her husband was nowhere around to grant her permission to do so.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Why is Santa such a jolly old elf?

He knows where the naughty girls live.

What do you call a group of 10 insects that live in a housing complex?

Tenants

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What did the white high school dropout get for his birthday?

A legacy scholarship for his second choice school

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

Procrastinator Jokes More Procrastinator Jokes

Why do procrastinators live the longest?

Because they die at the last second.

How many procrastinators does it take to change a lightbulb?

Oh well, I'll figure it out later.