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Why do procrastinators live the longest?

Because they die at the last second.

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Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What's so cool about cemeteries?

I don't get it. People are dying to get in them.

What did the boy say when his dog died?

I'm gonna miss you buddy, you were my best friend.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Why are birthdays good for you?

Statistics show: those who have the most, live the longest.

How many people live in South America?

A Brazilian.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What's Gordon Ramsey's second favorite movie?

FROZE-- oh, nevermind.

What do you call a man with a flamethrower?

2. What do you call his first victim 3. What do you call his second victim 1. Bernie 2. Crispin 3. Ash

Procrastinator Jokes More Procrastinator Jokes

How many procrastinators does it take to change a lightbulb?

Oh well, I'll figure it out later.

Why do procrastinators live the longest?

Because they die at the last second.