Why is it hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

They always take things literally.

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Pun Jokes More Pun Jokes

What does a cow use to solve math problems?

A *cow*culater. I made it up myself, so don't groan at the pun.

What is the main ingredient of a fractal fondue?

Mandel broth Ha ha ha The puns I make up while working as a grocery cashier..

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why do babies love sticking things in their mouth?

And why doesn't my girlfriend share this impulse?

What's the thing that is about 5-6 inches long, it goes into mouth and when you rub it back and forth it produces a white liquid?

A toothbrush.

Explain Jokes More Explain Jokes

What was the other reindeer's name?

Olive.

How many times does a blonde laugh at a joke?

Three times - Once when you tell it, once when you explain it, and once when she gets it.