Why did the photon stop drinking after traveling 670 million miles?

Because Happy Hour ended.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why do hipsters drink their Jello?

They want to have it before it's cool.

Why should I drink Mr. Pibb?

He didn't even finish grad school.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?

If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour it'll probably stop whining.

Why did they have to stop playing water-polo in Poland?

All the horses drowned

End Jokes More End Jokes

What begins with P ends with E and has thousands of letters?

The Post Office

How do you get a Samsung owner to throw their phone out the window?

End your text with "this message will self destruct in 10 seconds"

Travel Jokes More Travel Jokes

What has holes in it, and travels down an alley?

Batman: my parents Riddler: no its a bowling ball! I-im so sorry!

How do snowmen travel around?

By iceicle!

Happy Hour Jokes More Happy Hour Jokes

Why don't bars in London have Happy Hour?

They're in Greenwich Mean Time.

Where do Pixar employees go for Happy Hour?

CGI Friday's.

Photon Jokes More Photon Jokes

What sound do two photons make when they hit each other?

Planck!*

What do you need to split a photon?

A lightsabre