Happy Hour Jokes

Why did the emo kid leave the bar?

It was happy hour.

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Where do Pixar employees go for Happy Hour?

CGI Friday's.

Why did the photon stop drinking after traveling 670 million miles?

Because Happy Hour ended.

Why don't bars in London have Happy Hour?

They're in Greenwich Mean Time.

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Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What do you call cute seeds?

Awwwwwwwwwwwwmonds P.S. it's my birthday please love me

What's the procrastinator's favorite song?

Tooomorrow, tomorrow, I love yah, tomorrow.." (You're always a day away)

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why did the farmer stop smoking with his cattle?

Because the steaks were too high...

Why did the car judder to a stop when it saw a ghost?

It had a nervous breakdown.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What did the one fish in the tank say to the other?

Do you know how to drive this thing

How do you know when a woman is pregnant?

She switches from Ragu to Prego.

Man Good Friend Jokes More Man Good Friend Jokes

How do you know that a dog is a man's best friend?

Take your girl and your dog, and lock them in the back of a car, return in 5 hours, which one do you think will be happy to see you?

Why do we say dogs are man's best friend? Why not say dogs are man's and woman's best friend?

Because diamonds are a woman's best friend.

Hour Jokes More Hour Jokes

Why should you never drink German beer with Chinese food?

An hour later you're hungry for power.

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

Doug Got a set of tweezers as the toy as well. Hours of fun right there.

Trunk Jokes More Trunk Jokes

Where do elephants keep their luggage?

In their trunk!

What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn't pay his bill?

Pack your trunk and clear out!

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What sort of a car has your dad got?

I can't remember the name. I think it starts with T. Really - Ours only starts with gas.

Which do you think I should take?

Whichever you'll excel in, son.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did Bob Marley say to his wife after he opened the fridge?

No, Woman, no pie.

What is the difference between the deflate gate controversy and my wife?

Only one shows an interest in the balls.