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What did Mario tell his girlfriend when he broke up with her?

It's not a you, it's a me, Mario!

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Break Jokes More Break Jokes

What do you call it when your water breaks and you can't get ahold of the midwife?

A midwife crisis.

What did the green light say to the red light?

I love you, but I'm sick of yellow light always breaking us up.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if it is a Salvador Dali painting?

One of the clouds in the background is blowing another one.

Why can't you tell puns to a kleptomaniac?

Because they take everything literally (p.s. you can steal this joke if you want)

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

About 60 pounds.

How did Jared lose 40 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend

Mario Jokes More Mario Jokes

Why did Mario lose a life?

He stubbed his MiyamoToe....I'll see my way out.

What kind of fabric does Mario use?

Denim denim denim.