Why did Muhammad hire Moses to help with his start-up?

He wanted to double his prophets.

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Why did God bless Texas?

He didn't want to upset Chuck Norris.

What word starts with N and ends with R and you never want to call a black guy?

Neighbor

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What's on TV?

I said, 'Dust.' And that's how the fight started....

What do Twitter users and regular humans have in common?

Both start off as eggs.

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What did the black kid with diarrhea say to his mom?

Help! I'm melting!

How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?

Just two. One to politely ask and the other to politely help.

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What's Mohammed, Moses and Noah's favourite dessert?

Propheteroles

Why did Moses part his hair?

To make a path for the Israelice.

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Why does hiring a ship illegally always cost $3.14?

Because theyre pi rates.

How do you think we can better handle this in the future?

ME glaring at Cheryl, who took the last donut: idk, maybe don't hire Cheryl

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Why did Muhammad cross the road?

Because he had the right of way.

Why was Muhammad's dad always successful in business?

He made a gross prophet!

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How do you double the price of a Fiat?

Fill the tank

How can you double your money?

Look at it in a mirror.

Prophet Jokes More Prophet Jokes

When is the only time a Muslim bets?

When there is a prophet involved.

Why is business good on Easter?

Because prophets rise