Result Jokes

What two words result in the most marriages?

Screw it. EDIT: has a better answer

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What's the definition of irony?

An incongruity between expectation and result.

What will the results of the next election be?

No one knows! The results were stolen from the Politburo just last night!

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

Who is the brother of Juan Luna?

Edi si AnTWOnio Luna. Yeah yeah, the result of being stuck in the traffic.

What's the similarity between your zero-exercise lifestyle and a professional weight-lifter competing in the Olympics?

They both involve muscles and they both result in a-trophy.

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Body Jokes More Body Jokes

What is the name of the guy with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

Why does our body absorb Strontium?

To make our bones stronger

Page Jokes More Page Jokes

How did the hipster make it to the front page?

He did it before it was cool

How many copies can you make of a page without a copying machine?

Xero.

Bury Jokes More Bury Jokes

Why are lawyers buried 18 feet deep when they die?

Because deep down they're all actually good people.

Why was George Washington buried on Mount Vernon?

Because he was dead!

Expectation Jokes More Expectation Jokes

What are your expectations?

Me: Job. Interviewer: I mean what do you want from this job Me: Salary

What's the definition of irony?

An incongruity between expectation and result.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

Which rabbit stole from the rich to give to the poor?

Rabbit Hood.

What did the Roman say when the Greek accused him of stealing his gods?

It was all a myth-take!

Good Place Jokes More Good Place Jokes

Where's the best place to find a dog with no legs?

Where you left it

Where is the best place to vacation for Halloween?

Galapaghost Islands.

Panda Bear Jokes More Panda Bear Jokes

What goes Black-White, Black-White, Black-White?

A panda bear rolling down a hill.

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

Definition Jokes More Definition Jokes

What's the definition of apathy?

I don't know, and I don't care.

What is the definition of "moon"?

The past tense of "moo"!