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How did the hipster make it to the front page?

He did it before it was cool

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How did the hipster die?

He drowned in the mainstream because he stood on it before it was cool.

Why did the hipster go to bed early?

Because he sleeps before it gets cool.

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Where's England, Jon?

He proudly answers: - Page 83.

What happened when the joke about terrorists got to the front page?

It blew up