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Why was George Washington buried on Mount Vernon?

Because he was dead!

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Why was Sir Isaac Newton buried at Westminster Abbey?

Because he was dead.

Why do they bury child molesters 10 feet under?

Because deep down they're really good people.

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What would George Washington do if he were alive right now?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.