What would George Washington do if he were alive right now?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

Why is Vanilla Ice scratching his head?

Lice. Lice, maybe.

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Why can't Ewoks yell and scream in the house?

They have to use their Endor voices.

What is loud and sounds like "apple"?

Scream) APPLE!!!

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Why does Dracula always travel with his coffin?

Because his life is at stake.

How do you know when a vampire is sick?

He starts coffin...

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Where did George Washington keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

What color was George Washington's white horse?

Haha morons