What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

How do you build a flea circus?

You have to start from scratch.

What do you say to Harry Potter when he has a mosquito bite he can't stop scratching?

Quidditching

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Why did the sand scream?

Because the sea weed. ha.

Why did Helen Keller scream?

Her parents left the plunger in the toilet.

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What does a television have in common with a rabbit?

His ears! Yes, this is a real joke I got from a Laffy Taffy wrapper today, not 30 years ago. I did not laugh.

Where are you and Mom going tonight?

Me: To meet with your teacher. 7: Oh, you don't need to. I already saw her today.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What happened at the funeral of the man who invented the USB?

They lowered his coffin, took it out, flipped it the other way round, then lowered it again.

Why are graveyards so noisy?

Because of all of the coffin.

George Washington Jokes More George Washington Jokes

What would George Washington do if he were alive right now?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

What's George Washington's favorite element?

Americium-1776