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What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

Why is Vanilla Ice scratching his head?

Lice. Lice, maybe.

How do you find where a flea has bitten you?

Start from scratch!

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What did the hammer announce over the intercom to the evacuating screws screaming for help?

This is not a drill!

What is easier to load your van with bowling balls or screaming baby's?

Baby's because you can use a pitchfork

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What did you learn in kindergarten today?

5-year-old: A doughnut would help me remember. Apparently she learned bribery.

What would Jimi Hendrix be doing today if he was still alive?

Trying to get out of his grave.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

How do you know when a vampire is sick?

He starts coffin...

What would they put on his coffin?

A lid!

George Washington Jokes More George Washington Jokes

What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

Why was George Washington buried on Mount Vernon?

Because he was dead!