What did Richard Nixon say after he tried to make dinner at the White House for the first time?

I am not a cook

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What's the difference between a TV and a newspaper?

Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?

Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips?

From trying to blow out lightbulbs.

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What happened to the ghost who went to a party?

He had a wail of a time.

Which rappers had a flow that could simultaneously speed up and slow down at the same time?

MC Escher

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What do you call a badly cooked beef?

A misteak.

Why don't more people cook Armenian food?

Because it can be very thyme-consuming.

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How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but they have to do it during dinner.

What are two things dinosaurs can't have for dinner?

Breakfast and lunch.

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What's Richard Nixon's favorite game?

I spy.

What did Richard Nixon say after he tried to make dinner at the White House for the first time?

I am not a cook

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How many helicopters does it take for White House aides to go play a round of golf?

Depends on how many were photographed.

What has dual airbags and has lots of room?

The White House.