Why did the scarecrow win an award?

For being out standing in his field.

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Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

Why did the late man stand on the clock?

He wanted to be on time.

What should you do when your ex-girlfriend stands in the spotlights?

Drive faster.

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What do you call a bear that can't win?

A Chicago Bear

Why don't you want to win an award for Best Feline Sphincter?

Because it's a catastrophe :-) Yeah, ok, I'll be going now. EDIT: removed explanation.