What did the Illuminati say when they tried to read someone's mind, but failed to do so?

Curses, foiled again!

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Fail Jokes More Fail Jokes

Why would the Holocaust have failed if the victims were Islamic?

Because it would have been impossible to get a Muslim to take a shower.

What did the calculus student who failed his test and the guy who got a speed ticket have in common?

They didn't know their limits

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why was Hillary thrown out of a restaurant?

She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed.

Why did microsoft go straight to windows 10?

They were trying to keep their german market.

Mind Jokes More Mind Jokes

What do I think about my toes?

They couldn't be further from my mind.

Want to hear my pizza joke?

Never mind, it's too cheesy.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

How did Mister Baggins know when his neighbor had died?

He read it in the Hobbituary.

Curse Jokes More Curse Jokes

What weighs 15,000 pounds and is cursed with a sleeping spell?

Princess Aurorasaurus

What do you call a buyer that likes to curse?

A cusstomer

Foil Jokes More Foil Jokes

What did the evil tin man say when he was run over by a steamroller?

Curses! Foil again!

What did the Illuminati say when they tried to read someone's mind, but failed to do so?

Curses, foiled again!

Illuminati Jokes More Illuminati Jokes

Why does the Illuminati have to be the bad guy all the time?

Why can't they just be the Illuminice?

What does the Illuminati smell like?

New World Odor