Surgeon Jokes

Why did the surgeon refuse to dress for work?

He didn't want no scrubs

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Why did the woman fall in love with the surgeon?

Because he cauterize.

Why did a surgeon go to prison?

His medical license was doctored.

What did the surgeon say when the doctor declined going out after work?

Suture self!

What man knows the way to a girl's heart more than any other?

A surgeon.

What's the difference between a surgeon and God?

God knows he's not a surgeon.

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?

If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour it'll probably stop whining.

What's so funny?

Asks the dermatologist. "Sorry, it's a inside joke." replies the surgeon.

Why are you so excited?

The surgeon asked the patient that was about to be anesthetized. "But doc this is my first operation." "Really It's mine too and I am not excited at all."

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Which chord is essential to every Christian song?

Gsus

What's a Christian's least favorite typeface?

Helvetica, it's the fount of all evil.

Prison Jokes More Prison Jokes

What Do Nuns Call Air Conditioning In A Prison?

A convent!

What did the peadophile say when he was released from prison?

I feel like a kid again

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know a cat is ready to leave?

He makes a fe-line for the door.

How do you know the high heel was invented by men?

Who else invents things?

Refuse Jokes More Refuse Jokes

What do you call a Sith Lord who refuses to fight?

A sithy.

Why did the buddhist refuse novocaine when he went to get a tooth pulled?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Office Jokes More Office Jokes

How to get a job without experience?

Just run for office!

What did the psychiatrist say when a man wearing nothing but saran wrap walked in to the office?

I can clearly see "you're" nuts....

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

What does the emperor have when he goes for a Sunday drive?

He has Divine Right of way

What song did the man who lived next door to a brothel sing on his way to work?

Hi ho, Hi ho, it's off to work I go!

Dentist Jokes More Dentist Jokes

Why thank u.. are u single?

She:No, I'm a dentist

What does the dentist of the year get?

A little plaque.

Solve Jokes More Solve Jokes

Why can't atheists solve quadratic equations?

They don't believe in higher powers.

How did the detective solve his cold-case?

He put it in a conviction-oven.