Surgeon Jokes

Why did the surgeon refuse to dress for work?

He didn't want no scrubs

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Why did the woman fall in love with the surgeon?

Because he cauterize.

Why did a surgeon go to prison?

His medical license was doctored.

What did the surgeon say when the doctor declined going out after work?

Suture self!

What man knows the way to a girl's heart more than any other?

A surgeon.

What's the difference between a surgeon and God?

God knows he's not a surgeon.

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?

If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour it'll probably stop whining.

What's so funny?

Asks the dermatologist. "Sorry, it's a inside joke." replies the surgeon.

Why are you so excited?

The surgeon asked the patient that was about to be anesthetized. "But doc this is my first operation." "Really It's mine too and I am not excited at all."

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Solve Jokes More Solve Jokes

How did the mathematician solve his constipation problem?

He worked it out with a pencil.

How did the mathematician solve his problem with constipation?

He worked it out with a pencil

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why did the man use a pair of scissors on the rope?

The knife just wasn't cutting it.

Why bro?

Men with no pants fighting for a belt.. WTF

Tree Surgeon Jokes More Tree Surgeon Jokes

How do tree surgeons live?

Life on the hedge!

What do you call an elite team of crime solving tree surgeons?

Special branch.

Group Jokes More Group Jokes

What do you call a group of scientologist almonds?

Nuts.

What do you call a group of politically similar crows?

A cawcus

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What do you call a group of medical professionals who navigate around the Horn of Africa without being accosted by pirates?

Doctors without boarders.

Why was the doctor forced to leave work early?

The hospital ran all out of patience

Chest Jokes More Chest Jokes

What's the difference between a Walnut and a Chickpea?

I've never had a Walnut on my chest..

What's the difference between a chick pea and a lentil?

I've never had a lentil on my chest.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell a joke about ISIS?

It's all about the execution

What did Wonder Woman tell The Flash when he saw that he was greying?

I still find you dashing

Suture Self Jokes More Suture Self Jokes

What did the surgeon say when the doctor declined going out after work?

Suture self!

What did the doctor say to the patient who wanted to do his own surgery?

Suture self!