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Surgeon Jokes

Why did the surgeon refuse to dress for work?

He didn't want no scrubs

Love
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Love

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What did the surgeon tell Michael Jackson before he changed his skin colour?

Everything's gonna be all white.

Why did the woman fall in love with the surgeon?

Because he cauterize.

Why did a surgeon go to prison?

His medical license was doctored.

What did the surgeon say when the doctor declined going out after work?

Suture self!

What man knows the way to a girl's heart more than any other?

A surgeon.

What's the difference between a surgeon and God?

God knows he's not a surgeon.

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?

If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour it'll probably stop whining.

What's so funny?

Asks the dermatologist. "Sorry, it's a inside joke." replies the surgeon.

Why are you so excited?

The surgeon asked the patient that was about to be anesthetized. "But doc this is my first operation." "Really It's mine too and I am not excited at all."

Birthday State of Mind
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Birthday State of Mind

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Suture Self Jokes More Suture Self Jokes

What did the doctor say to the patient who wanted to do his own surgery?

Suture self!

What did the lazy surgeon say to his patient?

Suture self!

Office Jokes More Office Jokes

What's black and doesn't work in an office?

Decaf coffee!

How to get a job without experience?

Just run for office!

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why did the man go to the doctor after taking his friend to work?

He had carpool tunnel

Why was the doctor so stressed out?

He lost his patients...

Dentist Jokes More Dentist Jokes

When did the Chinese man know it was time to go to the dentist?

Tooth hurty

What time do you go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

What do you get when you administer marijuana to cows?

High steaks! (I'll just see my way out...)

What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way?

He whale-d

Group Jokes More Group Jokes

What do you call a group of armpit farters?

A pit orchestra. Bonus: World Record for Armpit Farts in 15s(https://recordsetter.com/world-record/most-armpit-farts-15-seconds/9602)

What do you call a group of rabbits, standing single file, hopping backwards?

A receding hare line!

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

How have you done that?

I don't know how but every time I run through that maze and ring the bell he gives me a piece of cheese.

Why is there no market for white tires?

Because black tires makes your car run faster

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many Marines does it take to change a lightbulb?

Four, one to change it and three to comment on the changing.

How many Bill Cosbys does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one but every time he does he causes a blackout.