Surgeon Jokes

Why did the surgeon refuse to dress for work?

He didn't want no scrubs

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Why did the woman fall in love with the surgeon?

Because he cauterize.

Why did a surgeon go to prison?

His medical license was doctored.

What did the surgeon say when the doctor declined going out after work?

Suture self!

What man knows the way to a girl's heart more than any other?

A surgeon.

What's the difference between a surgeon and God?

God knows he's not a surgeon.

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?

If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour it'll probably stop whining.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between Chelsea and Leo di caprio?

Chelsea got Oscar. huehuehuehue.

What's the difference between a guy with carry on luggage and a photon?

The guy overpacked, and the photon is traveling light.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What seperates man from animal?

Divorce!

Why couldn't the man be bothered to look at the origami mountains?

Because it was pay-per view.* "paper view"

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What's a cow's favourite love song?

When I fall in love it will be for heifer.

What's the problem with radioactive underpants?

Chernobyl fall out..

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What did the doctor say to the patient who wanted to do his own surgery?

Suture self!

What did the doctor do after he finished reading the book?

He removed the appendix!

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many ska kids does it take to change a light bulb?

Three; one to drop the bulb and two to yell "pick it up pick it up!"

How many frat guys does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to make a t-shirt about it.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What's the difference between a skeptic and a conspiracy theorist?

You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

How can you tell a hippie's been in your house?

He's still there when you get home. What's he say when you tell him to leave? "Na, 'ma stay"

Special Branch Jokes More Special Branch Jokes

Why did the cop climb the tree?

He worked for a special branch.

What do you call an elite team of crime solving tree surgeons?

Special branch.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the Australian grandmaster say to the banker, when asked what he wanted to exchange?

Check, mate!

Why does the army want to only recruit married men?

Because they don't want a man lost!