Wish Jokes

Why is a bad government like a bikini?

Because people marvel at what's holding it up. And they wish it would fall.

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What does Peter Parker wish he would have went to school for?

Web design.

What did the pillar say when he forgot to wish his friend happy birthday?

I'll column later.

How do you get wishes from cheese?

You fed-a-genie!

Whats the difference between a genie and a genius?

A genie grants wishes, while a genius wishes for grants.

What does a Mexican cop say when he wishes you a Merry Christmas?

Police Navidad.

What do you call a nine-sided polygon that wishes to remain anonymous?

Anonagon.

What do you do when you meet a robotic genie?

You mech a wish.

How many forever alone guys does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but he wishes it was two.

What's really important to a bat when they are looking for a new home?

Echo-location, location, location (Replace "bat" with "zubat" if you wish.)

Why does Vincent van Gogh always look forward to thenew year?

Because everyone wishes him a new ear.

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How many lonely guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. But he wishes it took two.

Why were the locals dissapointed when an old, decrepit, broken down bus rolled into an Egyptian town?

They wished it was Anubis.

How many PA's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Nine........one to do it and eight others to wish they'd been asked.

What did the horse say to whinnie the pooh while watching his t.v. show?

I wish I could hear you whinnie.

What did the pebble say to the rock?

I wish I was a little boulder!

Why do horses make terrible congressmen?

Because they can only say "neigh!" I wish this was a joke made up by my 7 year old cousin, but she's imaginary.

What is a Farmer's favorite pick-up line?

Girl. You look so good that I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y'all!

Whats your first wish?

Dave: I wish I was rich. Genie: Granted, what's your second wish Rich: I want lots of money.

What country do all cats wish to get their food from?

Viet NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM

Why didn't Napoleon get his wish?

Because he couldn't pull the wish Bonaparte.

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What do werewolves put at the bottom of their e-mails?

Beast wishes.

How can Euchre and Marriage be similar?

Sometimes you start out all hearts and diamonds, but end up wishing you had a club and a spade.

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Pillar Jokes More Pillar Jokes

What pillar doesn't need holding up?

A caterpillar!

What does your mother's face and a Pillar and have in common?

They're both load-bearing

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

What do you think of wearing a straight jacket?

I think I could pull it off

Why should you never invite a pig to join your tug-of-war team?

Pigs want to be pulled through the mudhole.

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

How would you describe your past work?

Cut to me picking up coins off sidewalks and taking them to CoinStar -Change management.

Why did Cruz pick Carly Fiorina as his running mate?

To lay off his campaign staff.

Forget Jokes More Forget Jokes

How did the Burger King get the Dairy Queen pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his whopper.

What did the pillar say when he forgot to wish his friend happy birthday?

I'll column later.

Slice Jokes More Slice Jokes

Why did the crab take the last slice of pizza?

Because he's shellfish!

What is a mathematician's favorite food?

A slice of Pi.

Little Bolder Jokes More Little Bolder Jokes

What did the shy pebble wish for?

That it could be a little bolder!

What does the shy little pebble wish for?

To be a little Bolder.

Marvel Jokes More Marvel Jokes

Why was Nikola Tesla a fan of Marvel?

Because he didn't like DC...

Who makes the music for the Marvel movies?

The Avengers Ensemble.

Wish Foundation Jokes More Wish Foundation Jokes