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What pillar doesn't need holding up?

A caterpillar!

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How does a French lady hold her liquor?

By the ears

How many egoists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. They simply hold the bulb and wait for the world to revolve around them.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Whatcha got, reddit?

I am not funny and I need to be. I am writing a script for a short show that's formatted like "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live. So that means one sentence about the topic, and then one liner joke. Thank you all!

Why are men better cooks?

They only need 2 eggs n 1 sausage to keep a girl full for 9 months

Pillar Jokes More Pillar Jokes

What did the pillar say when he forgot to wish his friend happy birthday?

I'll column later.

What does your mother's face and a Pillar and have in common?

They're both load-bearing

Caterpillar Jokes More Caterpillar Jokes

What do you get when you cross a caterpillar and a parrot?

A walkie-talkie.

Why do caterpillars think they are better than us?

OTHER WORM: *is drowning in a very shallow puddle*