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Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!

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Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

What bounces and makes kids cry?

The cheque I just sent to Save the Children.

Why didn't the Asian man cry when his wife died?

Because he just couldn't bereave it.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did Loki want the tesseract?

To get rid of his tesserection

What did the lighter color shade tell to its dark lover?

I want hue.

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What is 20 inches long and makes women scream at night?

A stillborn

What was Hamlet screaming when running around a circle?

2(pi)r or not 2(pi)r....(snicker)

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

How does Justin Beiber remove a condom?

He farts.

Why did the guitarist keep his condoms in his guitar case?

He only needed them after he'd opened it.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Whoa! Dude! Why is Judge Judy in my house?

And why is she wearing my underpants

Who has a long nose wears a mask and sits tall in the saddle?

The Lone Aardvark!

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

What do you call it when one piece of coal asks another piece of coal out to dinner?

Carbon dating.

What does Asian Matthew McConaughey want for dinner?

All rice, all rice, all rice

Daddy Jokes More Daddy Jokes

When your kid asks you (daddy is it time to go crazy?

You don't know what to say until you wife reply's (idk go ask you dad.) what do you say My little joke

Why did the Egyptian kid in therapy?

Because he thought his daddy was his mummy.

Wish Jokes More Wish Jokes

What does a Mexican cop say when he wishes you a Merry Christmas?

Police Navidad.

Why do horses make terrible congressmen?

Because they can only say "neigh!" I wish this was a joke made up by my 7 year old cousin, but she's imaginary.

Yay Jokes More Yay Jokes

Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!

What noise does a ceiling fan make?

GO CEILING!!! WHOOOHOOO!!!! YOUR NUMBER ONE!! YAY, CEILING RULES!!!