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Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!

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Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

What did the mother snake say to her crying baby?

Stop crying and viper your nose!

What do a hurricane and a divorce in Virginia have in common?

Screaming, crying, and somebody loses a trailer!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do you get if you cross a vampire and a mummy?

Something you wouldn't want to unwrap!

What's the last thing you want to hear right after you get done blowing Willie Nelson?

I ain't Willie Nelson.

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What do you call a screaming timepiece?

An alarmed clock.

Why was the Doctor screaming angrily at his secretary?

He ran out of patients.

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

What is a condom with a hole?

Kinder Surprise

How does the stork bring babies?

It pokes holes in condoms.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why do priests wear underwear in the shower?

They don't like to look down on the unemployed

Why to Native Americans wear Jockstraps?

TOTEM POLE!!

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

Why did the archaeologist ask a diamond out to dinner?

Because of his enthusiasm for Carbon-Dating.

How does Batman's mother call him to dinner?

She doesn't, she's dead

Daddy Jokes More Daddy Jokes

Who's your Daddy?

In my excitement, I asked my girlfriend "How's your daddy " instead of "Who's your daddy " and now five hours later we're still talking about his diabetes...

Where did you learn to do that?

Don't wipe boogers on Mommy's pillow! Wipe it on Daddy's

Wish Jokes More Wish Jokes

What did the horse say to whinnie the pooh while watching his t.v. show?

I wish I could hear you whinnie.

What country do all cats wish to get their food from?

Viet NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM

Yay Jokes More Yay Jokes

What noise does a ceiling fan make?

GO CEILING!!! WHOOOHOOO!!!! YOUR NUMBER ONE!! YAY, CEILING RULES!!!

Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!