Daddy Jokes

What's your Mom's name?

Kid: Mom's last name must be "Darling" because that's what Daddy calls her every time.... Teacher: That's so sweet. What's her first name then? Kid: I think it's "Sorry"....

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

How does an Alabama girl know shes in for a crazy night?

Her daddy says he wants her in bed by ten.

How do you make an orphans hands bleed?

Tell them to clap until daddy gets home

What does a 16 year old girl say in West Virginia?

Get off me daddy, you're crushing my smokes

Why was the Egyptian boy confused?

His daddy was really a mummy.

How do you know ancient Egyptians were black?

Because they never dig up daddies.

Why was the Ancient Egyptian boy confused?

His daddy was a mummy

Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!

Why did the Egyptian kid in therapy?

Because he thought his daddy was his mummy.

Who's your Daddy?

In my excitement, I asked my girlfriend "How's your daddy " instead of "Who's your daddy " and now five hours later we're still talking about his diabetes...

Why were ancient Egyptian children confused?

Because their daddies were mummies.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the first thing a hillbilly says after losing her virginity?

Get off me Daddy, you're crushing my cigarettes.

How did you meet daddy?

Me: Well, it all started with a friendly game of spin the bottle at the family reunion...

When your kid asks you (daddy is it time to go crazy?

You don't know what to say until you wife reply's (idk go ask you dad.) what do you say My little joke

Why was the Egyptian kid confused?

Because his daddy was a mummy

What does Frankenstein's monster call a screwdriver?

Daddy.

Which tax haven is a daddy?

The Cayman Islands

How was your day, Daddy?

Me: Pretty busy, lots of meetings and deadlines. Her: DEAD LIONS!!

What did the Mississippi girl say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me Daddy you're crushin' my cigarettes.

Why is grandpa running daddy?

Shut up son, and give me another shell.

Where's that?

Hawaii Where's that -Jamaica Daddy where was I -You weren't born Why's the folder called 'Good Ole Days'

What did the blonde say when she knocked over a priceless Ming vase?

A. "It's okay Daddy I'm not hurt."

Where did you learn to do that?

Don't wipe boogers on Mommy's pillow! Wipe it on Daddy's

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the pregnant lady douche with Chanel No 5?

She wanted to chanel her inner child

Why did the black man wear a suit to his vasectomy?

If he was going to be Impotent he wanted to look impotent. (important)

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell a rich Swiss from a poor Swiss?

The poor swiss washes his Mercedes by himself

What should I tell him?

Doc says, "Tell him I can't see him today."

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What's the difference between Politicians and Thieves?

Thief: They steal your money then run Politician: They run and then steal your money

Why does Harrison Ford run from Wesley Snipes?

Because he's the Blade Runner.

Orphan Jokes More Orphan Jokes

Why are orphans bad at poker?

Because they don't know what a full house is

Why don't orphans play baseball?

They have no home to run to

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What happened when a ghost asked for a brandy at his local pub?

The landlord said "Sorry we don't serve spirits."

What did the llama say when asked to a picnic?

Alpaca lunch!

Little Black Kid Jokes More Little Black Kid Jokes

Why did the little black kid start crying when he had diarrhea?

He thought he was melting.

What did the little black kid say when he had diarrhea?

Daddy help I'm melting!

Crush Jokes More Crush Jokes

What did the farmer's daughter say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me dad you're crushing my smokes! Or "That'll do pig, that'll do." I have heard it both ways.

What does a girl from Arkansas say just before she loses her virginity?

Careful, dad, or you'll crush my smokes.

Diabetes Jokes More Diabetes Jokes

What does he have now?

Diabetes. Bob has diabetes.

Why is diabetes like a fumble recovery?

Because you didn't know they had it.