Kid: Mom's last name must be "Darling" because that's what Daddy calls her every time.... Teacher: That's so sweet. What's her first name then? Kid: I think it's "Sorry"....
Her daddy says he wants her in bed by ten.
Get off me daddy, you're crushing my smokes
His daddy was really a mummy.
His daddy was a mummy
Kids: WE DO! YAY!
Because he thought his daddy was his mummy.
In my excitement, I asked my girlfriend "How's your daddy " instead of "Who's your daddy " and now five hours later we're still talking about his diabetes...
Because their daddies were mummies.
Get off me Daddy, you're crushing my cigarettes.
Me: Well, it all started with a friendly game of spin the bottle at the family reunion...
You don't know what to say until you wife reply's (idk go ask you dad.) what do you say My little joke
Because his daddy was a mummy
Daddy.
The Cayman Islands
Get off me Daddy you're crushin' my cigarettes.
Hawaii Where's that -Jamaica Daddy where was I -You weren't born Why's the folder called 'Good Ole Days'
A. "It's okay Daddy I'm not hurt."
Don't wipe boogers on Mommy's pillow! Wipe it on Daddy's
I wouldn't spend hours looking for my girlfriend at a ski resort if I lost her on the mountain.
Bartender says, "here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!"
Blacking out and gaining money.
Don't worry, they'll tell you.
We found his Heads & Shoulders in the glove box.
He was melting
According to the Gooey Decimal System.
It's a salad for people who can't afford a house salad
Mr. Salad asks. She replies, "It doesn't matter to me, just be well dressed."
Starts breakdancing* Thats not as much proof as you think it is
Ha, you really think rocks can talk
Your girlfriend has to chew before she can swallow,
What's the difference between getting your girlfriend pregnant and asking how her day went There is no difference, you always regret both!
