How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept with?

I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did Anakin Skywalker cry out as he lay dying and on fire?

Patme! Patme! Credit to my wife on this one

What do you get when you play country music backwards?

You get your job back, you get your wife back and you get your tractor back.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What do you call a sleep walking nun?

A roamin' Catholic.

What did the candle say when it couldn't sleep due to his own candlelight?

There ain't no rest for the wicked

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the Redditor say when... What did Redditor say when asked why he failed his PSAT test?

TL;DR

What's the difference between Isis hostages and Isis terrorists?

Don't ask me, I just fly the drones...

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How do make a woman blind?

Stick a car windshield in front of her face.

Why do you never buy a woman a watch?

Because there's a clock on the stove.

Darling Jokes More Darling Jokes

How many women have you slept with wife asked husband, "How many women have you slept with?

He proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

Why don't kids at school get my sarcastic humor?

Me: Because they have boring parents, darling.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

What are we supposed to do about it?

Dad replies: "I don't know honey, but I think, hitting him would be very wrong."

What should i do now?

To which the boss replies "We're out of shovels. Go lean on something else!"