Darling Jokes

What happened when a man fell in love with a grand piano?

He said "Darling you've got lovely teeth."

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How many women have you slept with wife asked husband, "How many women have you slept with?

He proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept with?

I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

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Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Why do husbands typically die before their wives?

They want to.

What do you want your husbands gravestone to say?

Wife: "Nothing. I want a traditional, non-talking one."

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on?

Stop talking in secret code.

What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day?

Rugs and kisses!

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

What the hell is a steering wheel doing there?

The pirate replies: "Arr, it's been driving me nuts"

What's a ten-letter word meaning 'supplying nourishment'?

Sherlock replied, "Alimentary, my dear Watson."

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why did the man who robbed the liquor store with a boomerang get caught?

Because he couldn't throw away the evidence

What did the Psychiatrist say to the man who walked in wearing nothing but plastic wrap?

I can clearly see ur nuts.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch?

Names.

What did the kid ask the Pirate?

Kid asks, "Where are your buccaneers?" Pirate replies, "They're under my Buccan Hat!"

Daddy Jokes More Daddy Jokes

Which tax haven is a daddy?

The Cayman Islands

What does Frankenstein's monster call a screwdriver?

Daddy.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What do you call 2 metalheads falling in love?

A match maiden heaven

What is Asia's favourite sitcom?

Everybody loves Ramen.

Director Jokes More Director Jokes

How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more guys I promise.

Why did the director yell at Kick at the set of Punchkicker 5?

Because he said Punch's line.