A grocery store cashier asked if I would like my milk in a bag.

I told her 'No, thanks. The carton works fine.'

A tooter. (thanks, honey)

What were Jesus' final words?

So long and thanks for all the fish." Edit: Everyone hates me.

Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What's the difference between a 5 year old kid and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.

What's the difference between a 4 year old boy and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why didn't Jesus like to play hockey?

He didn't like getting nailed to the boards.

Who's your friend who likes to play?

JOHN CENA** *DUn DUnDUnDUn DUn DUnDUnDUn.*

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.

What does a mathematician deal with when finished their work?

The aftermath

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did one pizza tell the other pizza?

A cheesy pun.

How can you tell, with 100% certainty, that no intelligent alien life exists that we know of?

Because if it did, we'd have sent foreign aid by now.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Who does Luke Skywalker ask to charge his lightsaber?

Char-Jar Binks

What does an accountant say when you ask him the time?

It's 9.18 am and 12 seconds no wait - 13 seconds no wait - 14 seconds no wait......

Milk Jokes More Milk Jokes

What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow?

You stop milking a cow after 10 years.

What milk does a coward make?

Craven-dale

Carton Jokes More Carton Jokes