A grocery store cashier asked if I would like my milk in a bag.

I told her 'No, thanks. The carton works fine.'

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

How much money do terrible movies make?

Ridley Scott. Thank you.

What's the difference between Donald and a piece of fruit?

Oranges have thick skin. Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one! Edit: Did not expect this joke to get this good of a reception. Thanks, guys!

Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What's the difference between a 5 year old kid and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.

Whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it, I don't know what to do?

Husband: Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them....

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do you call a spy that likes to spend time with his son?

James Bonding bah dun tss

What do you call an integral that doesn't like derivatives?

An anti-derivative.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why are elevator jokes so funny?

Because they work on so many levels

What did the buffalo say to his boy before leaving for work?

Bye, son.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did one pizza tell the other pizza?

A cheesy pun.

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

Tell her a joke on Wednesday!

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why do people always ask me for directions?

I have no clue where I am going. I am sure i have sent 100's of people into the ocean.

When your partner asks how many people you have ever slept with, answering 'what did I say the last time you asked?

Is unwise, apparently.

Milk Jokes More Milk Jokes

What kind of milk does Mitt Romney drink?

1%

What's the difference between Nine-Eleven and a cow?

You can't milk a cow for 14 years straight. Be gentle... it's my cake day

Carton Jokes More Carton Jokes

Why was the blond staring at a carton of orange juice?

Because it said concentrate.

Why did the blonde keep a empty carton of milk in the fridge?

In case she wanted black coffee.