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Bag Jokes

Why'd the vulture check his bag?

The airline didn't allow carrion luggage.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

Your Age Is Only Math

Why did the cat befriend the dog?

Because the dog let the cat out of the bag!!

Why doesn't the sun pack it's bags?

Because it's traveling light!

What do you call a pink slip served inside a bag of coffee?

Grounds for termination.

What's the difference between a 4 year old boy and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a baby?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

How is the world like a bag of jellybeans?

Nobody likes the black ones.

Whats the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

Whats the difference between a baby and a 10g of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldnt let a bag full of cocaine fall off the window

Why are there only 239 beans in a bag of beans?

If there were one more it would be two-farty!

What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out the window

Birthday State of Mind

Birthday State of Mind

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a small child?

Eric Clapton would never let a small bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

What is the difference between a 2 year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

What's the difference between a small child and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

What about the two old ladies who brought a bottle of whiskey to the baseball game?

At the bottom of the fifth the bags were loaded.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

What do you have when you got a bag of weed and a bottle of Jack Daniel's?

Jackpot!

What's the difference between a bag of coke and a baby?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of coke fall out the window.

What's the difference between a four year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

Why do Kenyans always win marathons?

At the end, they get a bag of chips and a Coke. -My dad told me this joke when we went to a race-

Why did the chicken jump into the bag of popcorn?

The kernel was looking for him.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four-year old child?

Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!

Whoever answers my next question, can go home One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: Who just threw that?

Boy: Me and I'm going home now.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine &amp a small child?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window...

What are you doing, dad?

Filing taxes... LOLJK... I'm googling "non-extraditable countries". Pack your bags, kid! We're going to Libya!"

Whole Foods "All the cash in a bag NOW!" 100% organic reusable bag ok?

Yes!" puts half the cash I had to charge for the bag

What's the best thing about Portugal?

You never have to carry your bags because of all the porter-geese. Thankyou, im here till Monday!

What's the difference between a bag of chips and a duck with the flu?

One's a quick snack and the other's a sick quack!

How many raisins do I have to add to this bag of M&Ms before it qualifies as trail mix?

One I say one.

What is the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would NEVER drop a bag of cocaine.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out a window

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4-year old child?

Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out a 53rd-story window!

What's the difference between a musician and a bag of rice?

The bag of rice can feed a family of four.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a seven year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window. EDIT: Damn it he was four

How's everyone else holding up?

Anyone know why they all have bags of candy

What's that in the bag?

An AK-47." "No next to that." "A bag of cheetos." "You can't bring that into the movie."

What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?

Eric Clapton won't let a bag of cocaine fall out of the window.

What do you call a bag of tiny crosses?

Jesus Pieces.

How does a psychic open a bag of chips?

They Tarot.

Why do grocery stores double-bag everything?

Like why don't you just make bags that are twice as strong

How much do the potatoes cost?

How much do the potatoes cost " - "2.50" - "And the bag" - "The bag is free" - "Ok, give me the bag"

What does a bag of rice and an onion do when they get into a fast car?

They pilaf. I'll show my way out

How much for the soulmate?

Ma'am, that's a bag of Doritos.

What do you call a bag that never approaches anything?

An asymp-tote*

Whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it, I don't know what to do?

Husband: Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them....

How does Bilbo take his tea?

Bag-in

Whats the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window

What's the difference between a 5 year old kid and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.

Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag?

They can lighten your load!

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it's half empty.

What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?

Snakes and Larders!sna

What's the difference between a four-year-old and a bag of cocaine?

There's no way Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window!

What will I have at the end of the day?

Three bags of skittles and a small body to hide.

A grocery store cashier asked if I would like my milk in a bag.

I told her 'No, thanks. The carton works fine.'

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Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

What Nationality was Otzi the Caveman?

He wasn't Italian, because he carried work tools, he wasn't Austrian, since he had some brains, he might have been Swiss, since he was outrun by a glacier, but most probably he was a German, because nobody else ever walks in sandals in the mountains.

What's the difference between a guy with carry on luggage and a photon?

The guy overpacked, and the photon is traveling light.

Year Old Jokes More Year Old Jokes

What breaks when you give it to a twelve year old?

Her hips.

What do cannibals put in their soup?

Ramen! Before you judge harshly, I would like to state that this was invented by a six year old, all on his own, no coaching.

100 Jokes More 100 Jokes

Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586?

Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got 585.999983605.

How do you fit 100 babies into a cup?

A blender. How do you get them out Tortilla chips.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why did the leper fail his driving test?

He left his foot on the clutch.

Why did the sheriff arrest the tree?

Because its leaves rustled.

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

What if aliens are responsible for global warming?

And this is just their way of breaking the ice.

Why didn't the piece of paper move out of the way when a car came speeding towards it?

Because it was stationary.

Garbage Bag Jokes More Garbage Bag Jokes

What do you call two homeless people hitting each other with garbage bags?

A Pillow Fight

Beyonce Jokes More Beyonce Jokes

What if you go missing?

How do you expect us to find you if you look like Beyonce on Facebook.

What do you call a heavy punch from Beyonce?

A Sasha Fierce!

Cup Jokes More Cup Jokes

Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his cup of free-trade coffee?

Because he started drinking it before it was cool.

What's the difference between England and an egg cup?

An egg can stay in the cup longer