What do you call a 5 year old without any friend?

A Sandy Hook Survivor

This joke may have profanity.
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What do the Scottish people call iPhone?

An AYE-Phone. (Joke brought to you by a 5 year old)

Why are you in such a bad mood?

5-year-old: I haven't had my coffee. Me: You've never had coffee. 5-year-old: Exactly.