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What do you call a bag that never approaches anything?

An asymp-tote*

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Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?

Snakes and Larders!sna

Whats the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

Approach Jokes More Approach Jokes

How did Mars feel when the colonists were approaching?

Terra-fied.

Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?

Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.