What do you call a bag that never approaches anything?

An asymp-tote*

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Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four-year old child?

Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!

How does a psychic open a bag of chips?

They Tarot.

Approach Jokes More Approach Jokes

What did inhabitants of an island in South-East Thailand say when they saw a tsunami approaching?

Oh, Phuket!

How did the dog warn its master that a Gorilla was approaching?

He barked g-r-r-r-illa!