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What do you call a bag that never approaches anything?

An asymp-tote*

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Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

What do you call a pink slip served inside a bag of coffee?

Grounds for termination.

Approach Jokes More Approach Jokes

Why did the Kurd bury his music collection?

His tribesman said "ISIL is approaching, and they're coming for Yazidis."

How did the dog warn its master that a Gorilla was approaching?

He barked g-r-r-r-illa!