Approach Jokes

Why didn't the approaching black hole concern the astronaut?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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How did Mars feel when the colonists were approaching?

Terra-fied.

What did the Buddhist monk say when he approached the hotdog stand?

Make me one with everything.

Why did the Kurd bury his music collection?

His tribesman said "ISIL is approaching, and they're coming for Yazidis."

What did inhabitants of an island in South-East Thailand say when they saw a tsunami approaching?

Oh, Phuket!

How did the dog warn its master that a Gorilla was approaching?

He barked g-r-r-r-illa!

When she approached my car window I asked what's wrong officer?

She said "ugh nothing!"

Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?

Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.

How do you know it's going to be a white Christmas?

It's approaching with deceptive speed.

What did the pair of flip-flops say to the approaching man with disgusting feet?

Shoe.

What do you call a bag that never approaches anything?

An asymp-tote*

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What did Cinderella say as she was approaching the ball?

Makes choking sounds*

What's the best angle to approach any challenge?

Try-Angle.

How do you approach an angry Welsh cheese?

Caerphilly.

What you hope someone might say about you when they approach your casket?

Hey, I think he moved.

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call a man who sells clockwork toys?

A Wind-up Merchant.

Why did the genie turn the man into a toad?

He rubbed him the wrong way.

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Why'd the dog sit in the shade?

He didn't want to be a hot dog!

What do a telephone and a dog have in common?

They both have collar ID.

Skeleton Jokes More Skeleton Jokes

Why don't skeletons go to the Veterans Day parade?

Because they don't have anybody to go with.

What do you call a skeleton in fancy attire?

Fashionably late. I'll be here all week.

Solve Jokes More Solve Jokes

How did the math teacher solve her constipation problem?

She worked it out with a pencil.

What do locking the keys in your car and getting your girlfriend pregnant have in common?

Both can be solved with a coat hanger

Ugh Jokes More Ugh Jokes

What did the asian say when he saw a line at the local soup kitchen?

Ugh.... Pho queue...

How do you know when you're turning 40?

When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh

Gravity Jokes More Gravity Jokes

How does gravity greet itself?

It just waves

What is the only law that Hillary obeys?

The law of gravity

Phuket Jokes More Phuket Jokes

What's your favorite city in Thailand?

Phuket, I don't know...

What did inhabitants of an island in South-East Thailand say when they saw a tsunami approaching?

Oh, Phuket!

Buddhist Monk Jokes More Buddhist Monk Jokes

What did the Buddhist monk say when he approached the hotdog stand?

Make me one with everything.

Why do Buddhist monks have such sour faces?

Because they're acetic.