Gorilla Jokes

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?

Because they got big fingers.

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What do you call a gorilla that's a member of a terrorist organization?

Boko Harambe

Who wouldn't let the gorilla in the ballet?

Just... the person responsible for making those decisions...

What do you call a gorilla in water?

Harambait.

What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear?

Whatever you want, he can't hear you..

What do you call the offspring of a sheep and a gorilla?

HaRAMbe

What do you call a fight between a human and a gorilla?

A harumble.

What does a man call a gorilla he loves?

Haram Bae

What's black, grey, and red all over?

A gorilla with a child in the enclosure.

What's the difference between negligence and falling off of the Empire State building?

Nothing if you're a gorilla.

What do you call a gorilla who magically smokes weed?

Hairy Potter.

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What do you call an Ape cooking a BBQ?

A Gorilla

What do you call three Egyptian women in a bathtub?

Gorillas in the mist

What do you call a gorilla with a harpsichord?

A silverbach.

What did the scientist see when he looked up his family tree?

A gorilla pooped on his face.

Who is the Gorillas' favourite playwright?

Eugene O'Neill - who wrote 'The Hairy Ape!'

What do they feed a gorilla when he goes to Paris?

Ape Suzettes!

What's black brown and white black brown and white brown and white etc.?

A Gorilla riding down a snowbank!

What happens if you cross a parrot with a Gorilla?

Nobody is sure but if it opened its mouth to speak you'd listen!

What's the difference between a small child and a gorilla?

People actually care if a gorilla dies.

Which author do the Gorillas love most?

Joh Steinbeck - who wrote 'The Apes of Wrath!'

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What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla?

An animal that puts you out a night!

What did Mrs Revere say when Paul got on a gorilla to warn the farmers that the British were coming?

Paul stop monkeying around!

Which operetta make the Gorilla crack up?

Nutty Marietta!

What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner?

A Kong - vict!

Why do the Gorillas like Jimmy Carter?

They don't really know - but they're NUTS about him!

Which book makes prudish Gorillas blush?

The Naked Ape!

Who is the Gorillas' favourite President of recent years?

Hairy Truman!

What do you call a gorilla that's hair is two different colors?

Harambre

What's black and dangerous and lives in a tree?

A gorilla with a machine gun.

What color are apples?

BOBO THE GORILLA: (signing) Please free me from this prison ME: (writing) Still struggling with colors

How do you tell a rabbit from a gorilla?

A rabbit doesn't look like a gorilla.

What did the Gorilla call his first wife?

His prime-mate!

What political party entices most Gorillas?

The Treepublican Party!

What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey?

A cross.

When the lumberjacks sawed down the tree where did the Gorilla hiding in the uppermost branches land?

Nearby - the Ape-lle doesn't fall far from the tree!

What do you call it when a gorilla takes martial arts lessons?

Kong-fu

Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic?

The bear hug!

When did the Gorillas start to picket the cookie factory?

The day they started to manufacture animal crackers!

Which wrestler do the Gorillas admire most?

Gorilla Monsoon - he knows the ropes!

What does a Gorilla learn first in school?

The Apey-cees!

Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet?

Just the people who were in charge of that decision.

What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands?

He brought it to school and said 'An Ape-lle for the teacher!'

Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead.

What did the Gorilla do when he saw the sign 'Clean Washroom'?

He cleaned it!

Why are Gorillas underpaid?

They're willing to work peanuts!

Why are beekeepers opposed to keeping gorillas in captivity?

They're ape purists

What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?

You-Rang-a-Tang

Which drink makes a Gorilla feel tipsy?

An ape-ricot sour!

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What do you call a group of people standing in the Arctic circle?

A Finnish line.

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Why do people smile in Africa?

So they won't run into each other in the dark.

Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!

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What did one end of the rope say to the other?

We were bound to get together...

What falls faster from a tree? A leaf or an emo?

The leaf, the rope stops the emo.

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Why do waiters prefer elephants to flies?

Have you ever heard anyone complaining of a elephant in their soup.

How long must I wait for that turtle soup I ordered?

Waiter: Well you know how slow turtles are.

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Why couldn't the bee dress as a ghost for Halloween?

Because people are offended by seeing Boo Bees.

What food do Japanese people serve as an apology when they have offended someone?

Miso sorry...

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What did the gamer wife told his gamer husband after they got divorced?

Good support in-game, bad in giving child support. gg no re

Why don't you just tell her how you feel?

Well, alright." "Girl, I feel with my nerves."

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What do auditioning for an acting role and playing sports have in common?

If you break a leg, you get cast

Why do Mexican students act like they own the school?

Because there mom cleans it and there dad fixed the roof