Gorilla Jokes

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?

Because they got big fingers.

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Who wouldn't let the gorilla in the ballet?

Just... the person responsible for making those decisions...

What do you call a gorilla in water?

Harambait.

What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear?

Whatever you want, he can't hear you..

What do you call the offspring of a sheep and a gorilla?

HaRAMbe

What do you call a fight between a human and a gorilla?

A harumble.

What does a man call a gorilla he loves?

Haram Bae

What's the difference between negligence and falling off of the Empire State building?

Nothing if you're a gorilla.

What do you call an Ape cooking a BBQ?

A Gorilla

What do you call a gorilla with a harpsichord?

A silverbach.

What did the scientist see when he looked up his family tree?

A gorilla pooped on his face.

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Who is the Gorillas' favourite playwright?

Eugene O'Neill - who wrote 'The Hairy Ape!'

What do they feed a gorilla when he goes to Paris?

Ape Suzettes!

What's black brown and white black brown and white brown and white etc.?

A Gorilla riding down a snowbank!

What happens if you cross a parrot with a Gorilla?

Nobody is sure but if it opened its mouth to speak you'd listen!

Which author do the Gorillas love most?

Joh Steinbeck - who wrote 'The Apes of Wrath!'

What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla?

An animal that puts you out a night!

What did Mrs Revere say when Paul got on a gorilla to warn the farmers that the British were coming?

Paul stop monkeying around!

Which operetta makes the Gorilla crack up?

Nutty Marietta!

Why do the Gorillas like Jimmy Carter?

They don't really know - but they're NUTS about him!

Which book makes prudish Gorillas blush?

The Naked Ape!

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Who is the Gorillas' favourite President of recent years?

Hairy Truman!

What do you call a gorilla that's hair is two different colors?

Harambre

What color are apples?

BOBO THE GORILLA: (signing) Please free me from this prison ME: (writing) Still struggling with colors

How do you tell a rabbit from a gorilla?

A rabbit doesn't look like a gorilla.

What did the Gorilla call his first wife?

His prime-mate!

What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey?

A cross.

When the lumberjacks sawed down the tree where did the Gorilla hiding in the uppermost branches land?

Nearby - the Ape-lle doesn't fall far from the tree!

What do you call it when a gorilla takes martial arts lessons?

Kong-fu

Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic?

The bear hug!

When did the Gorillas start to picket the cookie factory?

The day they started to manufacture animal crackers!

Which wrestler do the Gorillas admire most?

Gorilla Monsoon - he knows the ropes!

What does a Gorilla learn first in school?

The Apey-cees!

Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet?

Just the people who were in charge of that decision.

What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands?

He brought it to school and said 'An Ape-lle for the teacher!'

Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead.

What did the Gorilla do when he saw the sign 'Clean Washroom'?

He cleaned it!

Why are Gorillas underpaid?

They're willing to work peanuts!

Why are beekeepers opposed to keeping gorillas in captivity?

They're ape purists

What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?

You-Rang-a-Tang

Which drink makes a Gorilla feel tipsy?

An ape-ricot sour!

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Because he wanted to drink two beers with his lunch.

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An Illumi-neti pot

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Why didn't you answer me?

Pupil: I did I shook my head Teacher: You don't expect me to hear it rattling from here do you!

How do you keep getting in here?

ZOO OFFICIAL: Wait. Let's hear him out.

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils?

Because they got big fingers.

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Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch?

He was the skipper!

Who's there! Caroline! Caroline who?

Caroline of rope with you!

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How do you know when a white girl recently visited her friends grave?

There's Starbucks next to the headstone.

How do you know you're talking to a sales guy?

He says "I'm not a sales guy".

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