Gorilla Jokes

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?

Because they got big fingers.

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What do you call a gorilla that's a member of a terrorist organization?

Boko Harambe

Who wouldn't let the gorilla in the ballet?

Just... the person responsible for making those decisions...

What do you call a gorilla in water?

Harambait.

What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear?

Whatever you want, he can't hear you..

What do you call the offspring of a sheep and a gorilla?

HaRAMbe

What do you call a fight between a human and a gorilla?

A harumble.

What does a man call a gorilla he loves?

Haram Bae

What's black, grey, and red all over?

A gorilla with a child in the enclosure.

What's the difference between negligence and falling off of the Empire State building?

Nothing if you're a gorilla.

What do you call a gorilla who magically smokes weed?

Hairy Potter.

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What do you call an Ape cooking a BBQ?

A Gorilla

What do you call three Egyptian women in a bathtub?

Gorillas in the mist

What do you call a gorilla with a harpsichord?

A silverbach.

What did the scientist see when he looked up his family tree?

A gorilla pooped on his face.

Who is the Gorillas' favourite playwright?

Eugene O'Neill - who wrote 'The Hairy Ape!'

What do they feed a gorilla when he goes to Paris?

Ape Suzettes!

What's black brown and white black brown and white brown and white etc.?

A Gorilla riding down a snowbank!

What happens if you cross a parrot with a Gorilla?

Nobody is sure but if it opened its mouth to speak you'd listen!

What's the difference between a small child and a gorilla?

People actually care if a gorilla dies.

Which author do the Gorillas love most?

Joh Steinbeck - who wrote 'The Apes of Wrath!'

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What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla?

An animal that puts you out a night!

What did Mrs Revere say when Paul got on a gorilla to warn the farmers that the British were coming?

Paul stop monkeying around!

Which operetta make the Gorilla crack up?

Nutty Marietta!

What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner?

A Kong - vict!

Why do the Gorillas like Jimmy Carter?

They don't really know - but they're NUTS about him!

Which book makes prudish Gorillas blush?

The Naked Ape!

Who is the Gorillas' favourite President of recent years?

Hairy Truman!

What do you call a gorilla that's hair is two different colors?

Harambre

What's black and dangerous and lives in a tree?

A gorilla with a machine gun.

What color are apples?

BOBO THE GORILLA: (signing) Please free me from this prison ME: (writing) Still struggling with colors

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How do you tell a rabbit from a gorilla?

A rabbit doesn't look like a gorilla.

What did the Gorilla call his first wife?

His prime-mate!

What political party entices most Gorillas?

The Treepublican Party!

What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey?

A cross.

When the lumberjacks sawed down the tree where did the Gorilla hiding in the uppermost branches land?

Nearby - the Ape-lle doesn't fall far from the tree!

What do you call it when a gorilla takes martial arts lessons?

Kong-fu

Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic?

The bear hug!

When did the Gorillas start to picket the cookie factory?

The day they started to manufacture animal crackers!

Which wrestler do the Gorillas admire most?

Gorilla Monsoon - he knows the ropes!

What does a Gorilla learn first in school?

The Apey-cees!

Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet?

Just the people who were in charge of that decision.

What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands?

He brought it to school and said 'An Ape-lle for the teacher!'

Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead.

What did the Gorilla do when he saw the sign 'Clean Washroom'?

He cleaned it!

Why are Gorillas underpaid?

They're willing to work peanuts!

Why are beekeepers opposed to keeping gorillas in captivity?

They're ape purists

What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?

You-Rang-a-Tang

Which drink makes a Gorilla feel tipsy?

An ape-ricot sour!

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Which wrestler has the finisher that stings the most?

Stone Cold Steve Irwin.

Why did the wrestlers have to fight in the dark?

Their match wouldn't light.

Member Jokes More Member Jokes

How many members of Coldplay does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one, but he'd have to watch Radiohead do it first.

How many members of an ethnicity does it take to perform a specified task?

A finite number! One member to perform the task, and the rest to behave in a manner stereotypical to the ethnicity in question.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a scientist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

How can you tell which end of a worm is which?

Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What are you thinking?

Because now I know and I am horrified.

What were Adam's first ever words to Eve?

Stand back - I don't know how big it's going to get!

Modify Jokes More Modify Jokes

What do you call a super soldier that is in a coma?

A genetically modified vegetable

Why do Angelina Jolie's shirts have such big pockets?

For her lipstick!

Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

What did the server say when the customer requested something they didn't have?

404

What did the salesman at footlocker say to the customer?

Shoes wisely

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What happened when a ghost asked for a brandy at his local pub?

The landlord said "Sorry we don't serve spirits."

What would happen if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with a Saint Bernard?

It would drink the brandy it would carry and act like a big Gorilla!

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

How do you know you're flying over Poland?

Toilet paper hanging on the clotheslines.

What's hairy and flies through the air?

Jonathan Livingstone Gorilla!