Member Jokes

Which Star Trek character is a member of the magic circle?

Jean-Luc Pickacard

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What do you call a gorilla that's a member of a terrorist organization?

Boko Harambe

What do you call a former member of ISIS?

WASWAS

What did the spanish teacher say to his one student, who was a member of the cartel?

Where is my essay?

What did Vladimir name his member?

Put-in. (In a Russian accent)

What do members of secret societies use when they get a head cold?

An Illumi-neti pot

Why won't the members of the Westboro Baptist Church drink whole milk?

Because it's Homo.

Why are the Ninja Turtles on the No-Fly list?

Because they are members of an underground Splinter cell.

What is something that is always heard but never seen?

A member of the Queen's guard doing a single squat.

How many members of Coldplay does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one, but he'd have to watch Radiohead do it first.

How many members of Linkin Park does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, cuz in the end it doesn't even matter!!!

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How many members of Coldplay does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, but he has to see Radiohead do it first.

What does a member of the British Royal Family say when they are reaching climax?

I"m arriving, I'm arriving."

What's the difference between an flautist and a Porsche?

Most members of the band haven't been in a Porsche.

How many members of the NRA does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

More guns.

How many members of an identifiable group does it take to perform a common task?

A certain number! One to actually perform the task, and the rest to act in a manner stereotypical of the group.

How many members of an ethnicity does it take to perform a specified task?

A finite number! One member to perform the task, and the rest to behave in a manner stereotypical to the ethnicity in question.

How many members of a certain demographic group does it take to perform a specified task?

A finite number: one to perform the task and the remainder to act in a manner stereotypical of the group in question.

How many members of a particular ethnic minority does it take to change a lightbulb?

Enough to reinforce my negative stereotype about them.

What do you call an Asian guy who is a member of ISIS?

RICE-IS

Which member felt the warmest?

The conductor.

What super hero league would Caitlyn Jenner be a member of?

The X men!

What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?

Your calves!

How do you tell the difference between members of the GOP and ISIS?

Skin color.

Which member of the Bach family went to prison?

Bachgen Drwg. (it's welsh)

How many members of U2 does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three to screw it in and Bono to explain it to the world.

What's a member of ISIS's favorite game?

Mario Kart: Double Daesh!!

What do you call an asian who hates black people?

A member of the Kru Krux Kran

How did you know I was a member of Al Qaida?

Was it my knees Do I have terrorist's knees Oh, the bomb. Not the knees then That's good.

What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a member of the Westboro Baptist Church?

A retarded gorilla

How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time."

How so you call a member of the finacial staff of the faculty of Biology?

A Buy-ologist.

What do the members of Blackstreet like on their sandwiches?

Mayo mayo mayo mayooooooooooooooooo

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How can you tell if your goose is depressed?

It's feeling down.

How do you tell a good joke on reddit?

Wash it up over and over again until you get gold!

Behave Jokes More Behave Jokes

What did did the mother duck say to her duckling?

"If you don't behave, I'm gonna quack you one."

Why was Mr. Behaving sad?

His daughter was always Ms. Behaving.

Ethnicity Jokes More Ethnicity Jokes

What ethnicity is Santa?

North Poleish

How many members of an ethnicity does it take to perform a specified task?

A finite number! One member to perform the task, and the rest to behave in a manner stereotypical to the ethnicity in question.

Peta Member Jokes More Peta Member Jokes

How many PETA member does it take to change a lightbulb?

Doesnt matter. PETA cant chqnge anything!

How many PETA members does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They can't change anything.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Hey, wanna hear a joke?

Parsing HTML with regex.

Why did yo girl cross the road?

Joke from one of my 5th graders) Cause she saw me. Another: Why did the chicken cross the road Cause he saw some chicks.

Isis Jokes More Isis Jokes

Why doesn't ISIS appear in any Sci-Fi shows or movies?

Because they are set in the future.

Which cable provider offers ISIS 24/7 support?

Daesh Network

Kkk Jokes More Kkk Jokes

What do 1% of racist people do?

They are making clubs like the KKK The other 99% are hidden here making bad jokes

Why does the KKK like Christmas?

Because it's the one day that they have an excuse to hang coloured balls from trees.

Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

How can you tell which end of a worm is which?

Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!

Why are you just telling me now?

He said, Because I couldn't stop laughing.