Earthquake Jokes

What do you call a cow during an earthquake?

A milkshake

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What do you call an earthquake in NYC?

Harlem Shake.

What did the Mexican gang member say when two large houses fell on him during an earthquake?

Get off me, homes.

What did San Andreas said to the Earthquake?

This is all your fault!

What did one tectonic plate say to the other after the earthquake?

That was your fault!!!

What causes German Earthquakes?

Teutonic Plates.

What does one tectonics plate say to another after an earthquake?

It's not your fault.

Whose fault is it that California always has earthquakes?

San Andreas fault.

What did one earthquake say to the other?

I don't know what you're blaming me for, it's your fault!

What was James Bond after he slept through an earthquake?

Shaken, not stirred.

What did the ground say to the earthquake?

It's your fault!

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What did the Earth say to the Earthquake?

Sorry...that was my fault.

What did one mountain say to the other mountain after an earthquake?

It's not my fault.

What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?

I've been really stressed out lately, I know it's not your fault, but please stop cracking jokes about me

What does a fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane, and a wife have in common?

Sooner or later, one of them is probably going to get your house.

Why did the seismologist not have to pay for the damage caused by the earthquake?

It wasn't his fault.

Where is the safest place to be during an earthquake?

A hot air balloon #JonsSafetyTips #Safety #safetyTip #EarthquakeSafetyFacts

What do you call a cow in an earthquake?

A milkshake What do you call a cow with no legs ground beef What do you call a cow with 3 legs lean beef

What did the earthquake say to all of its victims?

Oh, sorry...my fault.

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Why does James Bond keep telling people his real name?

Worst. Spy. Ever.

How does the modern-day James Bond prefer his women?

Shaven, not furred

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Where do shapes go to pay for their crimes?

A prism.

How do I stay in shape?

I stole an ostrich, it chases me around the house all day, i hate it

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What did Pythagoras say about the pyramid scheme?

He just couldn't find the guys angle!

What did Hermoine say when she found out she's pregnant?

Fetus Abortus!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a fisherman and a lazy student?

One baits his hook the other hates his book.

What's the difference between "ooo" and "ahhhh"?

About 3 inches.

Crack Jokes More Crack Jokes

What's the smartest dinosaur?

Thesaurus Rex! omg, I crack myself up! Skip

How can u drop an egg onto a concrete floor without breaking it?

Any way you want, concrete floors tend to be very hard to crack.

Prevent Jokes More Prevent Jokes

What is the most certain way to prevent milk from souring?

Keep it in the cow.

Why do prison guards use Proactive?

To prevent further breakouts.

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

How Do Mexicans Play Basketball?

Juan on Juan.

What is a Mexican's favorite bookstore?

Borders

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why did they go from Windows 8 to Windows 10?

Cause Seven ate Windows 9

Why can't Sally ride the swings?

Cause she doesn't have arms. Knock, Knock, Whose there Not Sally...