Earthquake Jokes

What do you call a cow during an earthquake?

A milkshake

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What do you call an earthquake in NYC?

Harlem Shake.

What did the Mexican gang member say when two large houses fell on him during an earthquake?

Get off me, homes.

What did San Andreas said to the Earthquake?

This is all your fault!

What did one tectonic plate say to the other after the earthquake?

That was your fault!!!

What causes German Earthquakes?

Teutonic Plates.

What does one tectonics plate say to another after an earthquake?

It's not your fault.

Whose fault is it that California always has earthquakes?

San Andreas fault.

What did one earthquake say to the other?

I don't know what you're blaming me for, it's your fault!

What was James Bond after he slept through an earthquake?

Shaken, not stirred.

What did the ground say to the earthquake?

It's your fault!

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What did the Earth say to the Earthquake?

Sorry...that was my fault.

What did one mountain say to the other mountain after an earthquake?

It's not my fault.

What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?

I've been really stressed out lately, I know it's not your fault, but please stop cracking jokes about me

What does a fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane, and a wife have in common?

Sooner or later, one of them is probably going to get your house.

Why did the seismologist not have to pay for the damage caused by the earthquake?

It wasn't his fault.

Where is the safest place to be during an earthquake?

A hot air balloon #JonsSafetyTips #Safety #safetyTip #EarthquakeSafetyFacts

What did the earthquake say to all of its victims?

Oh, sorry...my fault.

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Whats a Joke with no Punchline?

Life

Why was Edward unable to get out of Russia?

Because he was Snowd en! (according to my friends this joke has been around for awhile, but I hadn't seen it yet, and wanted to share the goof)

Stress Jokes More Stress Jokes

Why was the plumber stressed?

He had a high pressure job

What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?

I've been really stressed out lately, I know it's not your fault, but please stop cracking jokes about me

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What did the tectonic plate say when it had a collision?

It's not my fault.

Why did the seismologist not have to pay for the damage caused by the earthquake?

It wasn't his fault.

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What do you call a tornado holding a spork?

The Mersenne Twister.

Why did the Aggie call 911 in the car wash?

He thought he saw the rotating car washer as a tornado

Blame Jokes More Blame Jokes

Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting?

Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine.

Who's to blame?

The motorist. He really shouldn't be driving in the kitchen. (Edit: formatting)

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What do you call a spelling mistake on a map?

A topographical error.

What do you call an earthquake fault?

A topographical error.

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why is a toothbrush a "tooth" brush?

Cause it was invented in Alabama! Inspiration came from the comments(http://mobile.reuters.com/article/idUSKBN0GP1NS20140825 irpc=932)

What caused Captain Morgan's shipwreck?

He was on the rocks.