What does a fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane, and a wife have in common?

Sooner or later, one of them is probably going to get your house.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on?

Stop talking in secret code.

What did the musician say to his wife when he went out to the supermarket?

I'm going Chopin, I'll be Bach in a minuet.

House Jokes More House Jokes

What's the difference between a toilet and a sink?

Aaaand you're not allowed in my house anymore.

What kind of house is easiest to pick up?

A light house.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why did Ted get fired from his job?

Because he would only do the minimum?

I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.

They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

Tornado Jokes More Tornado Jokes

What did the earthquake say to the tornado?

It's not my fault.

What do you call a tornado holding a spork?

The Mersenne Twister.

Hurricane Jokes More Hurricane Jokes

How do hurricanes see?

With one eye

What do a hurricane and a divorce in Virginia have in common?

Screaming, crying, and somebody loses a trailer!

Earthquake Jokes More Earthquake Jokes

What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?

I've been really stressed out lately, I know it's not your fault, but please stop cracking jokes about me

What did the ground say to the earthquake?

It's your fault!

Flood Jokes More Flood Jokes

What did the person say when a flood struck his house?

Damn it!

Why did the Irish Football manager flood the pitch?

So he could bring his 'sub' on