Stress Jokes

Why don't violists get stressed?

Because they have nothing to fret about!

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Why was the Taiwanese business man so stressed out?

Because he had a Taipei personality.

Why did the stressed out zombie go on vacation?

He needed some time to himself to decompose.

Why was the mathematician stressed out?

He was in a dilemma.

Why was the doctor so stressed out?

He lost his patients...

Why was the plumber stressed?

He had a high pressure job

What stresses fish out the most?

Current events.

What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?

I've been really stressed out lately, I know it's not your fault, but please stop cracking jokes about me

What was the stressed out toddler diagnosed with?

Diapertension

What did the stressed-out casino worker say to their boss?

I literally cannot deal.

Why was the doctor stressed?

He was losing his patients

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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How's college supposed to prepare you for the real world?

All it does is make you tired and stressed out and anxious and nevermind I get it.

How about a month filled with stress and obligation?

Pitch for December

What do corals get stressed about?

Current events.

Why was the computer stressed out when it got home from work?

Cause it had a hard drive.

Why was the computer stressed out when it got home?

Because it had a hard drive.

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?

Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.

What do you call it again where you think of a tweet while you're offline so you have to say it out loud?

Conversation

Support Jokes More Support Jokes

Why would no one listen to the percussion section?

Because they couldn't drum up enough support.

How does a painter support their art in this economy?

Easel-y

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas?

They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe.

Why did the storm trooper decide to buy an iPhone?

Because he couldn't find the right droid he was looking for.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why does Harrison Ford run from Wesley Snipes?

Because he's the Blade Runner.

What happened when the pig ran into his ex?

There was a porkward silence

Taiwanese Jokes More Taiwanese Jokes

Why do Taiwanese students always do so well on their standardized tests?

They've got a Taipei personality

Why was the Taiwanese business man so stressed out?

Because he had a Taipei personality.

Respond Jokes More Respond Jokes

When the cop asks you "Do you know how fast you were going?

Do NOT respond with "I know, right!"

How are you feeling?

The thermometer responded, "0K."

Violist Jokes More Violist Jokes

Why shouldn't violists take up mountaineering?

Because if they get lost it takes ages before anyone notices that they're missing.

What do you call the folks who hang around the musicians at conservatories?

Violists.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time are you supposed to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty!

What did Noah do while spending time on the ark?

Fished but he didn't catch much. He only had two worms!