Why did the stressed out zombie go on vacation?

He needed some time to himself to decompose.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do you call a duck traveling south that enters a time warp and meets itself traveling north?

A pair of ducks.

How do you make a Vietnamese girl pregnant and rich at the same time?

Give her the dong.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why did the Energizer Bunny need to lawyer up?

He was charged with battery.

Which room will you be working out in?

Me: None of them, I just need to take a shower.

Zombie Jokes More Zombie Jokes

What did the zombie say at the urinal?

I'm reliving myself.

What do you call a group of zombies watching The Sixth Sense while on a cruise?

High Seas Dead People

Vacation Jokes More Vacation Jokes

Why are mummys scared of vacation?

They're afraid to unwind.

Where does Santa go on vacation?

North Pole-land

Stress Jokes More Stress Jokes

What stresses fish out the most?

Current events.

Why don't violists get stressed?

Because they have nothing to fret about!

Decompose Jokes More Decompose Jokes

What is Beethoven doing right now?

Decomposing.

What are Mozart and Beethoven up to these days?

They're both Decomposing