Why did the stressed out zombie go on vacation?

He needed some time to himself to decompose.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time is it in New York City?

5 past Lundqvist

What time does Sean Connery leave to go to Wimbledon?

Tennish.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many bricks do you need to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but you're going to need a lot of patience and light bulbs.

What did God say to Noah?

Make a backup, I need to re-format this.

Zombie Jokes More Zombie Jokes

What's a zombies favourite brand of crisps?

Walkers

Why was the zombie in such a rush to get to his book signing?

He had deadlines to meet

Vacation Jokes More Vacation Jokes

Where does Neckwear go on vacation?

Thailand.

Why didn't the leopard go on vacation?

It couldn't find the right spot.

Stress Jokes More Stress Jokes

What do corals get stressed about?

Current events.

What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?

I've been really stressed out lately, I know it's not your fault, but please stop cracking jokes about me

Decompose Jokes More Decompose Jokes

What did Mozart and Beethoven do whilst in the grave?

Decompose

What do songwriters do after they die?

They decompose