Vacation Jokes

Where do English prime-ministers take their kids on vacation?

Lourdes. Mother Theresa always goes there.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What do French people do when vacationing in Laos?

They go swimming in Laotian

Where do cats go to vacation?

Meowi

Why did the stressed out zombie go on vacation?

He needed some time to himself to decompose.

Where does Santa go on vacation?

North Pole-land

What is a Minnesotan's favorite state to vacation in?

It's Alaska, don'Juneau.

Which hotel does Link use when he goes on vacation?

The HYAT

Where does Neckwear go on vacation?

Thailand.

What did the rapper ask the pet sitter when he got back from vacation?

Where my dogs at?

Where is the best place to vacation for Halloween?

Galapaghost Islands.

What do hackers do when they go on vacation?

They go phishing

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What is it called when a heavy gambler goes on vacation?

Paradice...

Where do drinks go on vacation?

Coaster Rica

What do you call an emotionally unstable animal who lives in Alaska and vacations in Antarctica?

A BIPOLAR BEAR

Where do cats go on vacation?

Maui.

What is gray, has a trunk, and big ears?

A mouse going on vacation.

Where does a pirate go on vacation?

Arrrrrland.

Where did the fortune-teller go on her vacation?

To Palm Beach.

Where do bacteria like to vacation?

Germany

What did the one llama say to the other before they went on vacation?

ALPACA BAG

Where do llamas go on vacation?

Alpacapuco

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What do cows wear when they're vacationing in Hawaii?

Moo moos

Where do pens and pencils go on vacation?

Pennsylvania

Where did the cantaloupe take his vacation?

John Cougar's Melon Camp

Where do pots go on vacation?

JaPAN! From my 9 year old.

What book did the rabbit take on vacation?

One with a hoppy ending.

Why didn't the leopard go on vacation?

It couldn't find the right spot.

Where do pencils go for vacation?

Pencil-vania.

Where do tv's go on vacation?

To remote Islands

Where does a burger go on vacation?

The Swiss (cheese) Alps or The Cheeseapeake Valley!

Where does an Irish person go on a vacation?

A new bar

What does a successful CS:GO bettor spend the money on?

Vacation.

Where did the glue go on vacation?

Nowhere! He just stuck around!

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

A different bar.

Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?

In a moooo-tel.

What fever did Joe Dirt catch on vacation after getting bit by a mosquito?

Deeeeeeeeeeengue

What is brown and gray has eight legs and is carrying a large trunk and a small trunk?

A Chihuahua on vacation with an elephant.

What did the fog say to the light rain after her vacation?

A. I mist you.

What does a tree do when it goes on vacation?

It packs its trunk and leaves.

What did the hungry terrorist say when he went on a vacation to Hawaii?

ALOHA SNACKBAR***

What do you use to gamble on vacation?

Pair-a-dice!

What does a tree do when he's going on a vacation?

He packs his trunk and leaves. I should go back to studying now. K bye.

Where do werewolves stay when they're on vacation?

At the Howliday Inn!

Why are mummys scared of vacation?

They're afraid to unwind.

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Stress Jokes More Stress Jokes

What did the stressed-out casino worker say to their boss?

I literally cannot deal.

What was the stressed out toddler diagnosed with?

Diapertension

Terrorist Jokes More Terrorist Jokes

Where do terrorists like to go for a drink?

The Allahu Ak Bar

What does a terrorist in Antarctica say?

Allahu Akburrrrrr

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What's the difference between a man on a unicycle wearing a tuxedo and a man on a bicycle wearing a tank top?

Attire.

Why do we say dogs are man's best friend? Why not say dogs are man's and woman's best friend?

Because diamonds are a woman's best friend.

Ya Jokes More Ya Jokes

What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice?

I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....

What did the magician say to the cell?

Might I conjure Ya?

Summer Jokes More Summer Jokes

What did the bear do to be labeled a hipster?

He hibernated in the summer.

What do you call an orange cat in summer?

Shedder Cheese!

Beach Jokes More Beach Jokes

How do black people get tans at the beach?

They lay down on their backs and put their legs and arms toward the sky.

What does a mathematician get from a day at the beach?

Tan lines.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many good deeds do you need to be called a superhero?

Because If it's one or less, I'm totally there.

Why the hell did you buy a buffalo?

Me: I'd rather have a buffalo and not need it than need a buffalo and not have it.

Alaska Jokes More Alaska Jokes

Who's there! Alaska! Alaska who?

Alaska my mummy!

Where is your mother from?

The second Eskimo says "Alaska."