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Ya Jokes

What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice?

I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Couple's Daily Question Mug

Who ya gonna call?

GEORGE ZIMMERMAN

Why ya going to the airport?

Flying Somewhere?": "How'd you guess?": "Well, I saw your luggage, then when I saw the airplane ticket I put two and two together. So where you headed?": "Aspen.": "Mmm, California.. Beautiful."

Where's your bin?

A man sees that his neigjhbnour doesn't have his wheeled trash bin. "Hey bub, where's ya bin" "I took a little vacation for a few weeks," "No. I meant where's your bin?" "Told ya, vacation, at the beach!" "No man. Where's ya wheely bin?" "Ok, fine! I've wheely been to jail! Happy now?"

What do ya call it when a lizard goes completely limp?

A reptile-dysfunction.

What did the lesbian vampire say to the other?

See ya next month.

Where do you find a dog with no arms or legs?

Right where ya left him.

How do you keep redditors in suspense?

I dunno, I'll tell ya tomorrow

What's the Pirates favorite letter?

Ya think it be the Arrrr, but it's really the C.

What'll ya have?

Cat: Shot of rum. Bartender pours it Cat slowly pushes it off the bar Cat: Another.

When black guys say "ya feel me?

I literally feel them so they know exactly what level of white I'm operating at.

Love Card

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Love Card

What did one lesbian vampire say the other?

See ya next month)

What do ya call a bunch of guys breaking into a music store and helping themselves to the stringed instruments?

Luters.

What did the magician say to the cell?

Might I conjure Ya

What can I get ya?

And in a very raspy voice the fish says, "WATER"

What do you call a Blind Dinosaur's Dog?

Do-ya-think-he-saurus-rex.

What does your tattoo say?

Me: It doesn't talk. Cashier: Ya, but what does it say Me: IT DOESN'T TALK. Cashier: Ok, Ma'am.

Where ya been?

Me: At the cemetery. Her: Someone dead Me: Yeah. All of them.

Where'd ya get it?

The parrot says, "Africa." (I don't know if you know this one, but I just heard it today)

How'd ya get that?

Asked the bartender. "From my husband," she replied. "But I thought he was out of town " he asked. "So did I!" she said.

Why aren't cowboy jokes funny?

Ya herd one, ya herd em all.

Birthday State of Mind

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Birthday State of Mind

When I was kid, and we'd go sledding on a cold snowy day, Ya know how often I had to rub my hands together to stay warm?

Intermittenly.

What did the lesbian-vampire say to her girlfriend?

See ya next month.

What do I owe ya?

Asks the neutron. "For you No charge."

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P.S. Jokes More P.S. Jokes

What did the English teacher write when she needed to borrow money?

An AE I.O.U. P.S. Im proud of this one

How do you get banned from a subreddit without breaking the rules?

Post something humorous in. P.S: Is there anyway to ungild myself?

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

Why did the bullet stay home?

Because it got fired!

What is the difference between Liverpool football and a tea bag?

The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

Mmm Jokes More Mmm Jokes

What is the best thing about gaffer tape?

It turns "no, no, no" into "mmm, mmm, mmm"

What is the best part about duct tape?

It can turn "no, no, no!" Into "mmm, mmm, mmm"

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

Why shouldn't you date a tennis player?

Because love means nothing to them.

Why don't tennis players get married?

Because to them love means nothing.

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

What's the difference between a PC gamer and a console player?

One spends 400 dollars on a console that will play games for years, the other pays 400 dollars for a graphics card that will be outdated in a week

Why was the girl stuck in the revolving door for two weeks?

Cuz she couldn't find the door handle

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

Which political discussions between the Russians and Americans keenly interest Burger Land citizens?

The SALT talks!

What did one rock say to the other?

Ha, you really think rocks can talk

Em Jokes More Em Jokes

How do you make black people break out into song?

Put em' to work!... On a gospel record.

What's the difference between a plastic tube and an adjustable spanner?

Both of em are in plastic, except for the adjustable spanner

Jail Jokes More Jail Jokes

Why did a pile of gravel go to jail?

Aggregated basalt

What would people call Ryan Lochte if he went to jail?

Ryan Locht-up